Should I Stay With Him?
Question by Sarah: Should I stay with him?
I’m 17 years old. I get straight A’s and I have a lot going for me. I’m currently “dating” a guy that I work with but he’s completely opposite of me. He’s older than I am.I think I need to break up with him but I really don’t want to. I’ve never felt such a strong connection with anyone before. I know what he’s going to say before he says it and vice versa. I know him like the back of my hand. I’ve fallen completely in love with his personality and the way he treats me. The only bad thing is that, he drinks. A lot. Every time we’re together he has a drink in his hand. He’s gotten 2 dui’s and now he’s on probation. All of the trouble he’s gotten into has cost him a lot of money. He’s basically broke. He has his own little shack house but He doesn’t even have electricity right now…he hasn’t had since last april. Yet he still buys alcohol, cigarettes and a boat. People are telling me I need to break things off with him but it’s hard when he’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose him. I love him so much that my heart hurts. I don’t care that he’s broke and is on probation, because I just love to be with him, talk to him and share lives. If and when I ever break up with him, do you think I’ll find someone else that I love as much as I love him right now? I’m confused on what to do.
Best answer:
Answer by i rock!
You’re in love with an alcoholic. Breaking up with the alcoholic isn’t the answer, it’s getting him to not be an alcoholic that is. Still, YOU can’t get him to end that addiction, only he can. So I suggest you tell him that he has a problem with alcohol, and that as much as you love him, you ultimately love yourself more and it’s just as unhealthy to be in a relationship with an alcoholic as it is to be an alcoholic. Tell him he needs to seek help (or just try to quit on his own) or else you’ll be forced to leave, as much as you don’t want to. And then follow through – loosing you might be the kick he needs to quit for good.
Good luck. You’re at the beginning of a very long, uphill battle. I know a gal who was married to an alcoholic and finally had to leave him after he was becoming an unreliable parent (can’t even stay sober to watch the kids). Five YEARS later he’s finally healed and they’re back together – but it took FIVE YEARS. Alcoholism isn’t very easy to combat, but good luck.
Also, with young people our age, sometimes it’s not so much “alcoholism” as it is the young 20-something “lifestyle.” But the DUIs are a sign that it is a larger problem. There is NO excuse for a DUI period, much less for TWO! This is a man who hasn’t learned to drink responsibly. So maybe he doesn’t need to join AA and quit alcohol forever, but he does need to seriously reel it in. If he can’t, then it IS a serious addiction.
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