Alcoholics Self Help: Is He a Pervert? Should I Leave?

Question by Broken: Is he a pervert? Should I leave?
My live in bf (father if my son) has had a porn addiction problem since I met him almost 7 years ago. He swears he will stop & does for a while but a few months later I find it on his fone again. He has killed my self esteem & trust towards him. About 3 months ago he took it a step further & began to STARE at girls everywhere we go, I no longer enjoy going places with him anymore. His actions towards me have never changed. He still is affectionate & constantly tells me he loves me BUT a few months ago he stopped wanting sex for about 3-4 weeks.
2 weeks ago he expressed that he wanted to change & no longer hurt me so he attended a men’s church retreat & he seemed to have came back a changed man however for the past 3 days I feel he is fighting his urges. He’s beginning to look again at girls. Not heavily stare like before but he does look. What disturbs me the most is that these are really young teen girls he looks at & the porn he had been watching was also 18 year olds. He is 26 & I am 31. I feel disgusted & dnt want him touching me or around me after I see him looking at these girls. When I try to leave he cries & tells me he is working on it & asks me to please be patient & help him instead of fighting. I will admit it is not as bad as before. I really don’t know what to do anymore. He is a very good provider & excellent father plus I really do love him, I’m just tired of all this drama. Anyone seen a person like this ever changing?

Best answer:

Answer by Been There
He had an opportunity to stop the first time this came up.
The fact that he didn’t means that he is not going to change.
Why would you stay with someone you don’t trust?
Trust is 68% of what makes a relationship work.
Furthermore, this relationship has totally broken down. You can’t even stand to have him touch you at times.

So he cries .. he is just stringing you along.
Instead of fighting with him, leave.
There are times when having NO relationship is far better than being in a toxic relationship .. and this is one of them.

Love is not what makes a relationship work. It only makes us wish it would work, and is often the excuse for staying in a bad relationship long past the expiry date.

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