Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by Jesika Smith: what charges can I post of my mother? Child abuse? Neglect? Threats?
Long story short, my mother would rather spend her day at the bar than take care of my 4 year old brother and 16 year old sister Erin. They were living with me for about 8 months until my mom called the cops and pressed kidnapping charges on me because “I was holding her babies against their will” When infact, I told them they could go home anytime they wanted too, but they didn’t want to go back to my mother’s house and her terrible terrible care. So, I have a court date with her next Tuesday for a custody hearing so I can get custody of my brother and sister because no one deserves a mother like her and I don’t want them to be around a drunk for their whole life. Anyway..could I press charges against her for child abuse and neglect? I mean, she doesn’t really spend any time with them at all, she basically comes home from her “job” and then goes straight to the bar leaving both a 4 year old at home by himself and a 16 year old to care for him. She will call me and tell me shes going to have people come to my house and kill me and that I better watch out next time I get into my care. I know there’s some type of charge I can do for threatening to kill someone or harm someone. She’s also left bruises not only on me, but my sister Erin too. The night she moved out and came to my house with Kyle, my mom had hit her with a baseball bat in the stomach. What sort of charges can I press on my mother?

Best answer:

Answer by Pope Chimpzinger
DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT – DOCUMENT:

Document EVERYTHING you can… From her addiction/alcoholism to the conditions in the home to the neglect of your siblings etc. etc. etc.

Without DOCUMENTATION, she can just get up on a soap box & scream “HOW DARE YOU!” & get people to believe HER because its’ the worst parents that scream “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILDREN!” faster & louder than those that are actually caring for their offspring.

?TAKE PICTURES…
?Write down Times, Dates, & Descriptions…
?THEN go to DCFS or CPS or whatever Social Services is called in your area.

Document your injuries & the injuries on your siblings then CALL THE COPS & have them bring a social worker & have THEM document the results & press assault charges on her.

Call the State Bar & request the name of a Family Lawyer that will work on behalf of you & your siblings… See if you can find an Organization that will help you with legal representation. A Family Lawyer friend of mine volunteers his time as a Child Advocate, they have child advocates in your area that will help you with this.

Then, the most important part of all, YOU & YOUR SIBLINGS MUST START GOING TO Al-Anon/Alateen MEETINGS to try & start YOUR recovery from the abuse of being the children of an Addict/Alcoholic.

? Anon/Alateen
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

? How do you know if you are affected by someone’s drinking?
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/affected-by-someones-drinking
(A Quick Test)

The ONLY thing that can stop a person from harming themselves & others & seek treatment for their Mental Illness of Addiction is for those around them to get healthy & stop enabling her disease.

Being the children of an addict/alcoholic alters the brain development of the children, not to mention that each child has a 50/50 chance of having inherited the series of genetic factors that are colloquially known as “The Addiction Gene”.

The worse the mental/physical abuse, the higher the likelihood that the child will end up mentally ill & abusing drugs/alcohol.

You need to read a book called “Cracked: putting broken lives together again: a doctor’s story.” by Doctor Drew Pinsky.

It explains Addiction in a way that both those being effected by it & bystanders alike can understand.

? Cracked: putting broken lives together again : a doctor’s story (Google eBook)
http://books.google.com/books/about/Cracked.html?id=2giutVdSltMC

I got my copy from a Used Book Store for like, $ 4.00…

p.s. Before anyone gets all up your butt about 12-Step being a Cult which tricks addicts into becoming bible-thumping nutters… They are wrong… Yes, they ask you to “Give yourself over to a higher power” but that higher power can be Jesus, Allah, a Psychiatrist, a Worry Rock, or your fave t-shirt… It’s about getting people to stop intellectualizing their problems & realize that they need to learn to take direction from people that know more about this disease than they do. This is the same thing that people need to do when entering into one on one psychiatric therapy… It’s about getting people to realize that WHAT THEY THINK is distorted & got them into this situation in the first place & that the only way to get HEALTHY is to learn to stop depending on YOUR THOUGHTS & follow directions from those that are far more healthy than YOU are. If you follow direction & ask others if what you want to do is a good idea or not, YOU will eventually be healthy enough to help others that are in your shoes.

Don’t underestimate the damage done to YOU & your siblings by being raised by an addict.

What you & your siblings see as “normal” is, to healthy people, growing up in a blender.

An intoxicated parent is an abandoning & abusive parent. JUST BEING INTOXICATED is abuse because she can’t provide her children what they need to develop healthy attachments.

Children of addicts tend to end up in relationships with addicts when they grow up, perpetuating the generational transmission of abuse & trauma onto THEIR kids.

YOU need to stop this cycle HER & NOW by getting YOU & your siblings treatment & support for your trauma history.

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