Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by paramore :D: How’s the first chapter of my novel? wait to comment until it says “he then drove away”.?
Remembering Jane

Prolouge

“What do you mean ‘she wasn’t here’, people don’t just disappear, I
spoke to her not fifteen minutes ago…”My mother wept.

chapter 1
They say that most children are abducted by a family member or a close
friend. I always thought they were wrong since most children I read
about had been stolen by some random person off the street.
I would watch the news with my dad and listen to a report on a missing
girl or boy. They looked so innocent in their picture and I worried
for them. I would pray for them and their family; hoping everything
would be alright. But you don’t always get a happy ending. I never
thought something as terrible as
kidnapping could happen to me.
My name is Jane, I’m a thirteen year old girl and this is my story of
when I was taken.
*********************************
9:00 a.m. 8 hours
It was a bright Sunday morning for April. The past few days had been
pouring non stop.
My mom would be watching CBS News Sunday Morning, sipping her coffee
with her nightgown on and wore one of my headbands. this was her
“relaxed” look.
Dad would always cook pancakes on Sunday. He was a family guy like
most of his brothers were. Of course, there is always that one person
who sticks out of a family. Either someone is doing drugs or is an
alcholholic or is the most serious one out of the most outgoing family.
“Your uncle Rick came on parol yesterday.” My dad said chewing on
pieces of his pancakes.”He’s a good man now, Jane.”
My uncle Rick was a strange man. He would waste his money on beer
instead of supporting his family. One time he got so drunk, he broke
into a jewlery store and passed out on the glass shelf with a broken
beer bottle in his hand.
Before he was an alcoholic, he was the sweetest man; alcoholic was the
last word you would think of. His pale blue eyes would hypnotize you
and you could never say no to him. He was clean, always shaved, he
didn’t look like a thirt-three year old man; more like a twenty year
old. When I was six years old, he would take me shopping at the local
thrift shop. My parents were at work most of the time until my little
sister was born the next year. I haven’t seen my uncle since because I
didn’t need him anymore and he was in jail.

2:00 4 hours

When my sister needed help with her homework, I usually helped her
since my mother was either cooking or cleaning and my father worked. I
would get frustrated with my sister at times when she could only think
of three words that rhymed with ‘grow’. Kindergarten homework was
tough when working with a girl like my her.
“Emma is only five.” My mother would say.
“Have some patience.” She would say.

When i finished my own homework, I was lucky to have a little free
time before supper. But then, my mother would make me stop watching
T.V. and have me make my father a margarita.
“No man complains about a strong drink.” He told when i put too much
tequila in his drink. ” Only a wimp would complain.”

5:38 45 minutes

After dinner, my mother told me to bring our dog, Charlie, outside in
the back because he had ate too much beef which would upset his stomach.
I didn’t want to get off of the couch to let him out. However, the
only other decision my mother offered was to clean the kitchen, which
meant I would have to shake out the table cloth outside and have
crumbs fling into my eye. if only my dad and I weren’t such messy
eaters. So I let my dog outside.
I went up to my room and sat in the chair next to my desk. I opened up
the left draw down and picked up a handful of play bills. I really
didn’t understand the plays when I saw them; I was too young. my
mother brought me to see “Les Miserables”, which she really wanted to
see and decided to bring me for some reason. Meanwhile, I was only
eight at the time.
After seeing so many plays, i wanted to be on broadway when i got
older. Though i was a terrible singer and we couldn’t afford dance or
singing lessons, I didn’t have my hopes down.

6:05 19 minutes

When my mother searched through the yard, she couldn’t find Charlie.
“Charlie! Charlie!” Was all i could hear from her.
My dad came to my room and told me to go look for my dog. I didn’t
think there was any point in looking for him. I mean, he’s ran away
before and always came trotting back after five minutes; realizing
that there would be no one to feed him.
My mother then begged me to go look for him; making me feel guilty.
I grabbed Charlie’s leash and headed out the door.
“Jane!” My mother called for me.
“Mrs. Jenkins just called, she says she has Charlie.”

6:19 5 minutes

I nodded my head to my mother and was on my way.
I noticed a parked red c
car that looked exactly like my uncle rick’s
old mustang from the eighties. I remember it because that was the car
he would take me shopping. with. Suddenly, a figure came out of it. It
was my uncle. He walked towards me and I was a little nervous
considering he had become a strange man. That’s what he was to me now.
A stranger. He looked the same as the last time I saw him, but I
hardly knew him.
” My, look at how much you’ve grown.”
he said.
“Would you like to go shopping, Jane?”

“No, thank you, uncle Rick.” I said.
“Maybe some other time. Right now, my dad would like to see you.” I
tried starting to walk backwards slowly.
“But i wanted to see you, not your dad, Jane.” He said taking another
step closer.
“I have to get my dog, uncle Rick.” I responded. “Please go to my
house, my mom will warm up some left overs for you and you and my dad
can talk and have a drink, like old times.”

“That’s a nice gesture, sweetheart, but I wanted to spend some time
with you a little more
. After all, i’ve been locked up for seven years.”

A lump built up in my throat. I wasn’t comfortable with what was going
on.
“I told you I’d hang out with you some other time. I’m a little busy
right now.” i started to walk off.
Out of nowhere, I was picked up and found myself kicking, but not
screaming. there was a hand covering my mouth and I soon found myself
in the back of a mustang. Sadly, no one had seen what he had just
done. Most people were on spring vacation or not paying attention from
their houses. Luckily for him, too, that we were at a dead end, next
to the woods, where only one or two houses could see us. But their
houses were on high ground and had evergreens directly in front of the
house. He came in the back with me and taped my mouth shut, my hands
together, and my feet together. The tape smelled of burned rubber and
tasted like glue. i would know since my sister once nearly shoved a
glue stick in my mouth while doing arts and crafts.He saw this was a
bad idea to use tape after I was clearly able to rip of the tape from
my mouth. I squirmed and I screamed out for help but he put tape over
my mouth again, tied my hands and feet together with jumper cables,
and threw me in the trunk. I was so afraid. I thought of my family and
what they would think. I wondered how I would die if he killed me.
Would he leave me in here and abandon be in a forest or drive us into
a lake? My worst fear I had was that he was going to rape and kill me.
My stomach was in knots. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
He then drove away.
im 12 (shhhhh) and i hope u appreciate my writing

Best answer:

Answer by Daniel
It’s good so far, keep writing

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!