Senile Grandma With Dementia Making Me Crazy! Please Help?
Question by Mrs. Stepps: senile grandma with dementia making me crazy! please help?
i’m going to say first that i realize how selfish all of this sounds, but it’s making me nuts and i HAVE to get it off my chest!
i moved out of my parents house 9 months ago and headed out to california. i came back about one week ago to visit for christmas and will be here for another 3 weeks. i am 20 years old, married and have a baby girl on the way. anyway, before i came out my mom let me know that my stepdad’s mother (who is 81) could not live on her own and had to be moved into their house.
when i came out here, jackie (stepdad’s mom) did not remember who i was, which was fine because i’ve really only seen her a handful of times and she’s getting older. she also had a stroke which affects her ability to remember things and is in the early stages of dementia. HOWEVER, as the week has gone by i’ve been driven NUTS by her behavior. “grandma” is VERY hard of hearing and refuses to wear her hearing aids. i have a terrible cold that has left me without much of a voice in the first place, so it is very difficult for me to carry on a conversation with her. but she CONTINUES to ask me questions (which she’s asked me a million times before that day) and expects an answer. i can barely talk as it is, and therefore i usually just shake my head in response, which makes her feel left out and i feel guilty, but there’s nothing i can do! it gets better…
grandma cannot be left alone in the house for more than 10 minutes, so when my stepdad leaves to do something, i am the only one left in the house and have to watch her. we have to remove the dials on the ovens, unplug the toaster oven and microwave, and make sure she’s not in the kitchen cleaning or “rearranging” the cabinets. she also picks things up like keys, cell phones, etc and puts them in random places. my stepdad is a caterer, and she recently ruined a salad (which was the main course of his dinner) by putting raw chicken in it and it had to be thrown away…
i know this sounds so selfish, but my patience is limited as it is, i’m hormonal and pissy (and willing to admit it!) and having to take care of this woman i don’t even know is making me crazy. she’s hidden my cell phone three times and i miss important phone calls from my doctor because she’s hidden it in the refrigerator.
i HATE having to take care of her, and i don’t know how my stepdad does it (they’re not close, grandma was an alcoholic when he was a kid and she never took care of him, but he knows she needs help). my mother and i were talking about it recently and i told her how little patience i had for the situation, she told me to get used to it if i’ve got a little one on the way. i’m AWARE of the amount of time and energy it takes to take care of a child, but this woman is not my child, and in fact is not a CHILD at all. i know i should be more sensitive to this situation because it is a disease and not her choice, but it’s makin me nuts. i need some advice on how to be more patient with it because, truthfully, my stores are running low! please help! thank you.
Best answer:
Answer by naguru
Adjust. Manage. Take it easy. Be cool.
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