Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by Barney Blake: I’ve Been With My Boyfriend For 6 Years, But …..?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years, but, I feel like I don’t know him anymore.
We met 13 years ago, but, didn’t start seeing each other romantically until 6 years ago. I’ll admit, when we first met, I had a problem with alcohol, I was a binge drinker and I was drunk 3 or 4 nights a week. Still, I maintained a full time job, I was living life like a normal person, basically, except for the alcohol. I suppose I was a “functioning alcoholic”.
Throughout the first 4 years of our relationship, my boyfriend was very anti-alcohol, his father had been an alcoholic, and he was very opposed to being in the presence of anyone who was drinking. I tried to keep my drinking hidden from him as much as possible.
During our 5th year together, I developed a rare disease known as HSP, as well as kidney disease. Although unrelated to my drinking, I STOPPED drinking altogether when I got sick. And in the last year and a half, I almost never drink now, I might have one alcoholic drink every 2 months or so. ONE. With my kidney disease, I just CAN’T drink, my body won’t let me. I feel sick for days after one drink.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, spends all of his free time drinking now. For someone who was once opposed to all things alcohol related, he’s at the bar 6 nights a week. He got a DUI 4 months ago, totaling his brand new car. Two weeks later, with another new car, driving drunk again, he totalled his car a second time. A month ago, he wrecked his car again, though he claims to not have been drinking that time.
There’s more …. after some talking about his drinking, he’s admitted to me that he “used to” have a problem with drinking years ago, that, in fact, this is his second DUI. 14 years ago, right before we met, he was involved in a single car accident that almost caused him to be a paraplegic, after 7 surgeries, 2 years out of work, and dealing with excrutiating pain, he’s able to lead a mostly normal physical life. (Prior to this, he had made up a huge, false story about his accident, I knew he had been in an accident, but I didn’t know alcohol was involved)
We just had dinner together tonight, I barely see him anymore, all he wants to do is go out and drink, and I’m very much opposed to the “bar scene”. After dinner, he was insistent that we go out to a bar to drink. Instead of going to a movie, or going for a walk, or coming back to my house for intimacy, all he wants to do is drink.
And I suppose as someone who has had problems with alcohol in my own past, I should be more understanding, but, I CAN’T. I wait up at night, waiting for the phone call, that he’s either dead or has killed someone else while driving drunk.
On top of all this, he’s also bipolar, he has these really high moods and times of extreme depression. And I fear that during some alcoholic binge he may become depressed to the point of attempting suicide. I don’t know what he’ll do when he’s drunk. I’ve been out with him twice when he was drinking, and, he gets “blackout drunk” very easily, he becomes obnoxious and mean, sometimes he’s sloppy and can’t even stand up.
He hides these behaviours rather well, he works a full time job, he owns his own home, he takes care of his elderly mother. But he’s self destructing, and I don’t know why, and I don’t know what I can do to stop it. HELP!

Best answer:

Answer by J
Just stop being gay.

Problem solved.

What do you think? Answer below!

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