Signs of a Functioning Alcoholic: Husband in Denial About His Anger/alcoholism?
Question by Miss Lolly: Husband in denial about his anger/alcoholism?
I’ve been married almost 4 years. About 1 year after we got married, my husband joined the military. He deployed in 2010 for 13 month and has been home for about a year. Since coming home, he’s a completely different person.
He’s almost always angry. There’s always something around to set him off: the printer got a paper jam, his truck needs new brakes, he hates his job. Sometimes, when there’s not anything legitimate to be pissed at, he comes up with other things, like not being able to find his gym shorts, me accidently falling asleep on the couch, his work uniform having a stray thread, etc.
In the morning, I never know if he’s going to be in a good mood (in which he usually kisses me goodbye, etc) or a bad mood (where he usually throws things around, slams doors, and occassionally makes snarky comments as he goes out the door). It’s the same thing when he comes home. I never know if he’s going to come home and relax, or if he’s going to come home and be all agitated. It’s to the point where I’m hesistant to talk to him when he comes in the door, because he usually always responds with a tirade about how much he hates his work.
He drinks pretty much every night. He does not get drunk, but he always has to drink. He will either have a few beers, or he will make himself tea spiked with whiskey. Sometimes, if there’s no whiskey, he will use other things like amaretto, flavored vodkas, and alcohols that he doesn’t even like. He would rather drink something that tastes disgusting than go an evening without his drink.
On the weekends, he usually goes out with friends to bars. It almost always ends badly. He either spends hundreds of dollars on expensive mixed drinks, or he will end up drunk at the barracks. Last weekend he beat up one of his fellow Marines and was almost NJP’ed.
I’m 8.5 months pregnant and I’m starting to wonder if I even want to bring a kid into this house. It always feels really negative when he’s around, because he’s always moody about something. The few times he’s acting happy, it’s usually because he’s been drinking.
I mentioned to him once that he drank a lot and he responded by saying “well you almost can’t be in the Marines without being a raging alcoholic!” And it’s true. Most of his friends are the same way, or worse. Both his father and his grandfather (mom’s dad) are alcoholics. Yet he seems to think that because both of them are “functioning”, that it’s not a big deal. I’ve actually heard him refer to his grandpa’s drunken tirades as “hilarious”. He seems to think he is acting appropriatly for the military culture that we live in, and that his job justifies it (meanwhile, I am unemployed and am therefore “unqualified” to pass judgements on how stressful his life is).
I don’t want to have to leave, and I don’t know where to go with this. His unit did threaten him with alcohol classes following last week’s bar incident, but they decided against it and I don’t want to go to them because I’m afraid that it will result in punishment or affect his career, which would in-turn affect our home/family life more.
Best answer:
Answer by Charlie Sheen
Why did you marry such a loser? And now you want to complain…
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Filed under: signs of a functioning alcoholic
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