Alcohol Abuse Advice

Being a single mother I spent many years alone. These years were actually good for me because I was pretty down on myself and my past relationship with my daughters father was not only toxic, but was going nowhere. Her father and I never got married and for both of our sakes it was good we didn’t.

Her father had many issues with drugs and alcohol and I spent a lot of time trying to change him. I know, you cannot change someone unless they want to be changed. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn. I soon became a person I hated.

I started to control the relationship. I was a mother figure and not a girlfriend. I was demanding, jealous, and we argued all the time. My needs were not being met and I know his weren’t either. I hated who I was becoming. I was emotional all the time, nagging, and just in general angry.

I was working the night shift to earn extra money and he had odd and end jobs that produced very little money. What money he did bring home was often half of what it should have been because he was buying drugs and alcohol without me knowing.

The night before Easter I was excited because I had the next day off with a few days. I was excited about the weekend as it was my daughters first Easter. She was only 4 months old at the time. On my lunch hour I came home to have something to eat as I only worked about 2 blocks away. My boyfriend was acting strange and distant. I tried talking to him but I knew something was up. I got angry and we began to argue again. I ended up getting up to leave when I noticed he had gone to buy beer and it was hidden in the closet so I would not see it. Not having the time to discuss this I left and told him that we would talk when I got home.

Even though I lived 2 blocks from work it wasn’t the safest of neighborhoods at night so I often drove to work in case there was an issue. When I came out of work the next morning my car was gone. I searched the whole parking lot thinking I must have parked it in an out of normal spot. I went back upstairs and tried to call home to no answer. It was 5:30 a.m. and I figured my boyfriend must be sleeping. I started to walk home thinking of all the things I would have to do to report my car missing.

As I approached the apartment I noticed my car sitting in the parking lot. It had a large yellow scratch going down the side. I immediately knew something was very wrong. As I got closer to my apartment I heard loud noises. As it was now almost 6 a.m. I was fearful of what could be making so much noise. Then I saw it, my boyfriend sitting outside of our apartment window with empty beer on one side and unopened beer on the other. From my count it was at least 3 cases of beer most of which had already been drank.

I ran inside and turned off the radio which he was blasting at almost top notch and went to check on my daughter who was sound asleep. It really bothered me that she could be so soundly asleep with the level of noise in the apartment. I then went and approached him. I started by grabbing the un-open bottles of beer and started pouring them out. He was so drunk and obviously stoned that he didn’t fight me much. He just got angry and went into the apartment.

As mortified as I was I followed behind him yelling and screaming. I had finally had enough. Our relationship ended that day with some hurtful words on each persons part. I learned that he put my daughter in her carrier and walked up to retrieve my car, went to the bank and took out our rent money, bought beer, and went to a friends house to get stoned.

I was devastated with these events, but I was miserable and my actions reflected every ounce of hurt in me. For the next 2 years he tried to come in and out of our life to spend time with his daughter, but each time his need for drugs and alcohol would take over and he would disappear.

For 3 years after this I spent a lot of time in reflection, study, and moving forward. I obtained a better job, better apartment, better life. I hear her father is finally clean for the most part and he is married with another daughter. I am glad he found his way and I thank God that I found mine.

I learned a lot during my time alone. I learned that everyone has a story and a piece of their past that is toxic and makes them unhappy. I learned that my experiences could help others and that I didn’t have to control the situation. I let go of fear and found the love of my life. I have a wonderful family and that would never have happened without those past experiences. I found my way home and am a much brighter, happier, and trustworthy person because of it.

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Filed under: alcoholic enabler

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Filed under: alcoholic enabler

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Why do rehab programs insist young members call themselves addicts or …
Filed under: alcoholic enabler

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