Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by Xx dark skye xX: Do i have avoidant personality disorder? Help, please..?
Sorry this is kinda long, but i would appreciate it greatly if you could read this.

I am 14 years old.. I have basically self-diagnosed myself with depression since i was 10. But recently I feel empty, I’ve started avoiding phone calls, text messages, people at the door. My friends invite me to go out but i always decline, its not like i don’t want to go.. but i just can’t be bothered. Thats never happened to me before.

I haven’t cried for about a year or so. The last time i cried was when i found out that my parents have hepatitis c. I have had a somewhat traumatic life compared to people my age. I was almost raped when i was 12. My parents were both heavy alcoholics, my father an ex drug addict and smoker. Both my parents were quite neglectful towards me, especially my dad, whom i no longer care about. I have been bullied for most of my schooling life. I started cutting myself when i was 11, but i rarely do it now.

I used to look back on the rough times in my life and cry, now i feel nothing.

I try to avoid showing my feelings to my friends, i go to a drama class and acting happy is easy for me, its a mask i constantly put on. I’m known as a happy bubbly person but on the inside i feel nothing. I’m not happy anymore, or sad. Its kinda like i blocked all emotions out.

I’ve never felt happy since my boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 years ago now. (i was 13). I still love him, the feelings not mutual with him though. But after we dated, i never felt happy. Not even a little.

I act like what people say doesn’t affect me, but it really does. Even the smallest insult/constructive-critism i take to heart.

I always analyse social situations and make sure that i’m not going to get hurt. Well i don’t only analyse social situations, i basically analyse everything, as you can see, haha.

I’m not motivated to study or spend time with friends. All i do in my spare time is sit in my room, alone.

My friend once forced me to see a councillor because she was afraid i was going to commit suicide. I told the councillor i was fine.. and that was that. I have a hard time trusting anyone, even those that are there to “help”. I just can’t open myself up to people easily. I guess thats why i wear an emotional mask all the time.

Theres a lot more i could add, but i think I’ve covered enough.

Anyway, to the point… I know that there are several things wrong with me, and that i should get help, but i don’t think i could bring myself to do that. My dad’s a psychiatrist and he doesn’t believe that anythings wrong with me, despite the many times i told him that i was depressed and suicidal. My mum believes im a “happy child” and that my self injury is a “silly little phase”. I don’t know how i could talk to a doctor or councillor, but im sick of living this way. :S

What do i do? and from what you’ve heard do you think i have avoidant personality disorder?

All i want is to be a normal teenager and feel emotion again. :/
also, i don’t know whether this relates to depression or the avoidance but i barely sleep, I usually fall asleep around midnight at the earliest.
JulesToo, your probably right.

But the reason i think i have this is because I have read my dads psychology books about personality disorders. And this one matched my feelings perfectly. :S thats what i call “self-diagnosed” but of course its not 100% right. Which is why im asking online to get the opinions of others.

I hope that cleared some things up. (:

Best answer:

Answer by JulesToo
I don’t think it’s possible to diagnose over the internet, and I don’t think people can self-diagnose personality disorders. You are not trained. I am not trained. You are giving out information which is screened (by you) whether you mean to or not and that makes that information biased. Therefore no one can make a valid diagnosis, even if they are trained. If someone reading your question were trained they would need to ask you a long series of questions before they could make such a diagnosis–and it would take at least an hour.

What should you do? You should talk to someone at school about how unhappy you are if your parents will not listen to your complaints. Perhaps someone at school; a teacher, a counselor–someone you trust–and they can go to your parents to convince them that you need help.

Clearly you are a very smart young lady. Don’t judge all psychiatrists just because your father is one. I have seen a few because I had a head injury when I was 19 (that was 1980). They are not all the same. Some are better than others.

You may have depression. You may not. I don’t know. But, I think you need to tell someone and talk to a counselor, and that your parents should listen to you about this. Right now they don’t want to because they think if there is something wrong with you it means there is something wrong with them. There isn’t, but they aren’t hearing this. Somehow, someone has to get them to realize this isn’t ABOUT THEM–IT’S ABOUT YOU.

Don’t give up. Hang in there. Good luck.

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