What Is Your Take on the Situation…. Was It My Fault?
Question by va beach girl: What is your take on the situation…. Was it my fault?
Last weekend my boyfriend and I got into a fight… I went out with a friend for the first time in like almost a year of leaving the house, and I was so excited that I forgot to lock the door, and I didn’t leave a note… He called me about 8 times and I was afraid to answer for the chance of my friend thinking I had a controlling person in my life… I did answer eventually, and he did freak out… now the girl does not want to talk it seems. He didn’t come home for 2 nights, and 3 days after him being home, he has not said a thing about where he had been. Normally, I would ask, or demand to know… But this time, I am pretending like I don’t care… but I am not really pretending, I don’t care anymore… at least that is how I really feel, and I haven’t felt that way before…. I am just finished fighting. Please don’t judge though because that is only MY side of the story….
I called his mom and she told me to “stop mothering him”, and that I can’t save him…. So I have been sleeping on the couch ever since, and he has not asked why… for the sake of him not wanting to tell me where he was for those 2 nights maybe?
His mom told me to “pick my battles”… He drinks an AWFUL lot… Probably every night. She has even said we need to stop drinking together, so I stop and he does not. He said I need to stop and not him! I stoped, and he still drinks! His mother calls him a “dry alcoholic”…I am the type of person to think that even if you only drink 2 beers every day, just because you feel you need it in some way, you are dependant. I know because I have felt that way before. But he drinks like 4or5, and sometimes liquor during the week. Well this is my question:
After 3 nights of sleeping in a seperate room, he has said little things like “I don’t have the plague”… or “You can come in here with me”… Ijust say no. Not in a rude way, just like I don’t have a care in the world. But this morning, he came and laid down on my leg… and I was not going to an ass and give him the argument he wants and jump up, so I just sat there. We had more conversation than we had in the last couple of days. Then when he was leaving he said to me: “When you get home from class tonight, I will be curled up with my 5 babies”… I said, “What?” He replied, “With my 5 long necks”… It just slipped out of my mouth, “It figures”. Not in a rude way, just in a way that friends would say something to one another. I SWEAR to you there was no tone in my voice that implied insult at ALL! But if the truth hurts????!!!He said then, “What are you saying, that I drink a lot?”… I said, “No, I just see you drinking almonst every night”… in a VERY meek voice! He then said, “Maybe I won’t see you tonight then!”. What is your take on that. I know I should “pick my battles”… but was I out of line?
And please, be mature! I hate posting questions and getting answers like, “Just leave that loser!!!”… I have been with him for 4 years and live nowhere near ANY family… so it is NOT that easy!
I have tried to sit down with him and have conversations about what we need to change, but they quickly turn into what I, and I alone need to change… If I didn’t do this he would do that, etc. Believe me…. I have tried to talk it out with him, but because he works a full time job and I only work part time, he feels I should cut him slack, seeing how he makes more money than me. He was gone for 2 whole days!!! What am I suppossed to do? Give in and ask where he was so he canmake me out to seem like some kind of desperate needy woman? That is what he will do.
Best answer:
Answer by Mike
He sounds like a drunk loser, leave him. You’re not even married to him and probably never will….spare your sanity and run away from him
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