How to Deal With a Controlling Alcoholic OCD Dad?
Question by Riggs: How to deal with a controlling alcoholic OCD Dad?
My Dad is making me lose my mind.
I’m 19, go to a community college (am in my second semester), get mostly As and some Bs… my parents pay for my schooling. I appreciate it everyday!
I’m an aspiring audio engineer… i study every aspect of the profession on a daily basis. I have a 100 average in all my Music classes thus far and have been told by my engineering teachers that THIS IS the path for me.
-I work 25+ hours a week at a grocery store but am starting to actively look for internships.
-I’m in a jam band with 9 other friends (on drums). We chill nearly daily, play disc golf, motivate each other to achieve our dreams, and go out drinking and partying on weekends. None of us are reckless… none of us do “hard drugs”… Most of my friends smoke weed, but I haven’t in months because it makes me too lazy. I just stick to the weekend brews, by personal decision.
-I paid for my car with my own cash.
My Dad is the only gloom on these great college years. He drinks a 30 pack of Keystone every night and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day… You can see his lifestyle all over his face…
He has extremely high blood pressure and is very high strung in general. We can be having a conversation and all of a sudden he will start yelling.
He has OCD… which is frustrating for me because i’m incredibly chilled out. I’ve got long dreadlocks… (i’m a little part black so i can pull them off extremely well, but my dad HATES it)
he is constantly closing doors, yelling at me for leaving my bedroom light on for just 3 or 4 minutes while i am downstairs, and yelling at my mother for every ridiculous reason imaginable.
I believe it is a defense mechanism. He tries to nitpick every small fault of others around him to justify his alcoholism and life threatening ways.
Not only that, but he uses the fact that i live at home against me. I constantly hear “You live in this house! My rules!”, even telling them i’m going to sleep over at a friends house on a weekend night.
I feel like i can’t mature in this environment. I know this has turned into a ramble… but how do you young adults deal with an irresponsible parent that can’t help but treat you like a little boy?!
Thanks for the advice everybody. I really don’t fear for my own safety around my father… I just have trouble standing by when there is such a negative energy in the house. I care about my parents and have always respected their rules (never broke curfew in my life…).
Again, thanks for all your answers.
They are all taken to heart!
Best answer:
Answer by kc922
the only way to deal is just to find other places to hang out and to live. my mom was REALLY difficult when i still lived at home with my parents. the only way it ever got better was by living on my own. our relationship is so much better now, because she doesn’t control my life anymore.
no matter what, your dad will find something to get angry about. just know it’s about him, not you. as soon as you can manage it, find a way to get your own place.
and good job on your accomplishments so far!
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