How Can I Regain Custody of My 12 Yr Old Son Who Has Lived W His Father in AL for 5-6 Yrs?
Question by FORESA: How can I regain custody of my 12 yr old son who has lived w his father in AL for 5-6 yrs?
During our divorce 7 years ago, my brother committed suicide. This worsened my depression & my Ex used “depression” & “migraines” as debilitating factor. I kept my son where he attended Kindergarden in TN. He seemed to be in the principles office because he got bored & disrupted class due to his ADDHD. The judge then ordered his father to put him in school in AL. where he had moved without my consent & put him on medication for his ADDHD which helped in his conduct. My sons father married as soon as our divorce was final. I lived with a boyfriend during the time my son stayed in AL with his father due to financial obligations. I had my own place for me & my son thereafter. My ex was awarded custody of my child and I had to pay child support. The support was based on me having an income from 2 jobs & I could barely make it. The child support office wouldn’t rehear the case for at least 6 months. After 7 yrs of employment, I was laid off & the support office told me I shouldn’t have the case reheared until I found another job since it would be based on my what my ability to make income was rather than unemployment checks. I changed professions, & make half what I used to. My support was lowered, but based on a current job at that time where they took into consideration a commission that I didn’t make. I have now worked for the United States Postal Service for 2years. If my depression & migraines were so debilitating, then how have I always maintained a job? The judges words were that, my son didn’t need to be in an environment where he would be exposed to depression that lead my brother to suicide. My brother did not take medication for his depression. I feel like I have been hurt by seeking medical attention so I can be a better mother, sister, aunt, worker, daughter…etc. The judge stated that since my ex had intentions of remarriage that it would be a more stable environment for our son. No matter the reasons for our divorce, my ex and his wife abuse alcohol. My ex took everything I worked for after I paid off his debt. I wasn’t ordered anything I had before the divorce. My ex make 4 times as much money as I do. I even proved his inability to manage money by old credit reports then showed my credit report compared to his current one that enabled him to purchase a 275k home in AL. I have lived with my boyfriend because of financial reasons for the past 5 years. My ex has always allowed my son to come on weekends, all school breaks, and all summer. My son just turned 12 & wants to live with me. My son mentioned to his father & he was intimidated into thinking he should never ask to move back to TN again. My ex is now seeing someone else b4 his 4th wife has moved out. My son complained of his step-mom slinging him up against the wall & whipping him as well as verbal abuse. His father threatens him to keep quite & not tell me things. His father is 12 yrs older than me. His dad has been a good father, but now is preoccupied with another relationship that he has already exposed our son to. I feel his lack of commitment to a wife will affect our sons future outlook on stability. His father no longer has him in any sport activities which he is very good at. Two states are involved and my ex has a lot more financial ability to fight me in the custody case just like during our divorce. My ex prolonged the divorce for 2.5 years until I had NOTHING….no more funds to fight. I will just make it, if I need to move out & get my own place, but any child support that I would get from my ex would enable me to support my son & give him close to the same standard of living he has been used to with his father. I don’t know what to do since I have limited income to seek legal advice.
What state do I file for a motion for custody amendment. Do I need an attorney? What process do I go through if my son wants to tell the judge he wants to live with me. My son will testify of abuse his step-mother put him through. I am in no way “dis” ing another’s relationship, just trying to give all the details from both sides.
Best answer:
Answer by ravenjudge
you will now have to prove that you would be the better parent for your son to be with, and if his dad is a good parent, and supporting him, then you have an uphill fight, especially if you have no proof of mistreatment in the father’s home. (if you do, use it). Don’t dis other people’s relationships if you’re doing no better, by the way, it does not make YOU look better. If you are trying to to what’s BEST for your son, try being understanding of others too. (and that WILL make you look better)
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