Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by Sally: To ignore or not to ignore; that is the question. I need your help! Crazy ex, and now, crazy ex’s girlfriend!?
I find a lot of comfort in the community response to my questions and I am again in need. Should I respond to the following craziness or just ignore what is and what is to come?

It’s been more than six years since my ex left. More than just lying and cheating (though including) he tried to destroy the lives of me and my children. He got control of all of our businesses and left us with nothing. He said, over and over, “If you and the children want to eat; get a job.” (We had lots of money with three strong businesses.) Start over – I did – and am proud to say my children and I are thriving. (Thank you God!)

My life with him, an abusive, raging alcoholic, and I believe a sociopath, challenges every Lifetime Movie to ‘one up’ my story. Words cannot adequately describe the extent of abuse and disregard for our family. But, I worked hard and have survived and, dare I say, had the guts to thrive. I have two stellar high school students, and not one minute of “traditionally typical bad teenage behavior.” I am grateful!

He made choices to choose ‘partying over parenting’ and leave our family. He chose to move to another state and not pay court ordered child support. He has chosen to abandon the family he made and never looked back. Now, with a new girlfriend in the picture he is suddenly pained.

She has been texting me messages about how much he misses his children. She says he is not doing well. She blames me for “poisoning” the children against him. Her texts are disturbing. Mind you, he has called here twice in the last year! If he misses them so much why doesn’t he pick up the phone and call them?

I know the drama has nothing to do with my children. He has found a way to manipulate her with a cause she can relate to. I have never prevented him from seeing the children. (It is with caution as he continues a relationship with a registered sex offender of children publicly identified on Megan’s List.) I always answer his infrequent calls. She accuses me of not giving them (infrequent) cards and gifts. Of course I do! My children deserve a father and would benefit from his support should he choose to honor his responsibility. (This story has many ugly twists to the man I thought I married. He was raped as a child by his neighbor and I am grateful that he has not had the opportunity to touch my children. Subsequently I was raped and abused as pay back.) (Too many stories to tell here.)

Now, his “girlfriend” who called me over a year ago to tell me he had broken her nose. She blamed me for not telling me he was abusive. I had no idea of who she was at this point and could not have contacted her, since I had no idea of who she was! She has started texting again. Her words are insulting and no reflection of my life. She calls me evil. She insists I am to blame for his pain. I have barely spoken to him in years! I know this is his twisted mind trying to place blame on me; again. I want nothing to do with them.

I texted back that I tried to help her when she did not know who he was. Since she has decided to stay in an abusive relationship I would rather she not contact me any more. Since, she has sent me several disturbing messages. I have not responded, but have thought about sending a message that this is a “no drama zone” and I would not read any more messages. Since I already asked her to quit texting me I have not responded to her recent texts.

The sad thing is, I am living a happy life, until their world of drama enters mine! I used to live in this world. My ex always had extreme drama and now my life is stable. I do not want to “play” in their world. What can I say to make it stop? Should I say anything at all?

I am so proud of what my children and I have accomplished and do not want to go back to the “crazy” world. He is their father, but has expressed little interest in them for nearly six years! Every time he contacts us it is damaging and dramatic. How do I end this madness?

Thank you in advance for listening to this! My children are in bed so I finally had a chance to vent!
Funny enough, I was thinking the same thing. My ex has my #, and now does his girlfriend. I thought today about changing it, but I have had the same number for years and all of my children’s schools, sports contacts, friends, and business associates have this number. (I have my own business and rely on contact with suppliers.) Should I disrupt the lives of many to accomodate one disturbed girl? Should I just ignore her, or further distrpt my world?

Best answer:

Answer by nvrtimeme
Dare I ask how they managed to get your cell phone number? How about getting your number changed…that seems like a sure fire way to get them to leave you alone. Don’t let the crazies invade your life…..change your number.

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