How Can a Parent Disconnect Emotionally From a Child?

Question by wc2ketey: How can a parent disconnect emotionally from a child?
Our son started having emotional and behavioral problems about 12 years ago. My husband abandoned me last year for another woman whose children are raised. They are now married and living in another state. Our son continues to have problems. Looking back I have felt like a single Mom for all 12 years. As our son’s problems increased, my husband pulled farther away. His traveling increased. When he would return home from one of his frequent trips,I would take the blame for handling all the sitiuations with our son the wrong way, even though he didn’t want to get involved at the time it was happening. My ex is a “functioning alcoholic” so perhaps that’s why. I believe he loves our son, but couldn’t handle the problems. He continues to call our son every night and has since he left. He has also seen him. But he still doesn’t want to hear about the problems. He just tells me I’m a poor mother when I approach the subject. Has anybody else experienced something similar?
You can’t help an alcoholic if they won’t help themselves. Our son has been in counseling for 12 years. He suffers from several disorders. The divorce and alcoholism haven’t helped but weren’t the “causes”. Mental disorders run in my family. Our son has a predisposition for being an alcoholic due to problems in my ex’s family and has had trouble there too.
Sorry for the misunderstanding. I haven’t disconnected from my child and never will. He still lives with me. I was referring to my ex disconnecting from him. All my time is spent thinking of my son, not my ex. I was just wondering how anybody else handles this.

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