He Said There’s a Lot on His Mind and That I “Deserve More Than He Can Give Me Right Now” Hmmmm. ?
Question by ginainjersey: He said there’s a lot on his mind and that I “deserve more than he can give me right now” Hmmmm. ?
We’ve been dating almost 4 months. He’s 34, never been married, admits to commitment issues, has said from the beginning that I am a different kind of woman than he usually dates, (in a good way) and wanted to try for something more serious with me. First 3 months were wonderful, seeing each other every other day, talking 2 or 3 times a day by phone (him making most of the calls). About 3 weeks ago, I noticed a definite change, going out with his friends more, seeing me less (2 or 3 times a week), and calling less, (once per day or texting and not calling.) There have been no arguments or drama though he had talked alot about “how did he end up with a good woman” and “what am I going to do with you?” Monday, (2 nights ago), he hadn’t called all day, though he had texted. So I called him late that evening, to which he sent the call to voice-mail, and I texted to ask if he was okay. He replies with ” A lot is on his mind so he’s been laying low by himself and that I deserve so much more than he can give me right now.” I ask if there was someone else, to which he replied “NO!” I replied that “I truly cared for him more than he knew and would give him some space, that if he wanted to break things off I’d respect that but I think it would be a loss for both of us.” He didn’t reply to the text but called yesterday just to say “hello” and texted today commenting on it being a “nice day.” I’ll also mention that he has a history of addiction, (alcohol/substance abuse) and there are a few signs of perhaps a relapse in that area of his life, although he tries to keep it from me. What do you think’s really going on with him and what should I do? I have not initiated contact since my “serious” text Monday night. Thanks for the help!
Best answer:
Answer by baglady
He is old enough to know what he wants, unless his judgment is clouded by drugs or alcohol, or an ex. You may care too much about him, and this would make you codependent. It’s hard to explain. If you love someone with an addiction, be very wary of getting serious. Only you can decide if you can continue this relationship.
He may be hiding behind a bottle, as they say. And you cannot rescue him from his addiction.
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