Alcohol Abuse Advice

Supporting an Alcoholic Through The Twelve Stages of Recovery

The unfortunate aspect of being a drunk is that the bottle comes first: always.  There are no boundaries an alcoholic will not trespass in order to secure his (or her) next drink.  There are no moral limits to consider and no reason that is good enough to consider doing without that next drink.

 

An alcoholic who is seeking help is invariably doing so because he or she has no choice and life has reached a crisis point.  How that crisis is dealt with can make the difference between an alcoholic going successfully along the twelve steps to recovery and failing miserably and tragically.

 

Some alcoholics are elderly and also have elderly problems to complicate their recovery process.  An elderly alcoholic has certain other issues to deal with, not the least of which is the illusion that they know better than everyone else due to their senior years and experience.  This, of course, is complete nonsense: an elderly alcoholic with elderly problems has as much chance of recovery or failure as any other alcoholic.  The plaintive excuse, “I can’t face a recovery program at my age” is one that will brook no sympathy at any self help group meeting and one which will likely be met with justifiable impatience.

 

Supporting a recovering alcoholic requires the patience of a saint and considerable fortitude.  Elderly alcoholics with elderly problems often have more time at home in which to indulge in secret drinking, if they are so inclined, whereas younger addicts have the slight advantage of being busier throughout the day.  The resolve to cleanse an addiction such as alcoholism requires enormous determination and although the support of family and friends is invaluable, it is the alcoholic who must take on the obligation to change and change permanently.

 

When dealing with an adult addiction, it is impossible to follow a person around twenty four seven to ensure he or she does not pick up a bottle and it is rare to find a recovering alcoholic who has not ‘fallen off the wagon’ at some stage.  What is important is not how many times the person falls off the wagon but that he or she climbs back on it again immediately.  This is when support really comes into its own and when the help and love provided by a supporter will help keep a recovering addict on the straight and narrow and ready to try again.

 

It is important to understand that a supporter of a recovering alcoholic needs to be just that – supportive.  Not cloying; not the kind of person who finds excuses for inexcusable lapses; not a clinging leech who interferes and supervises every basic task the addict attempts; not a watchdog and not someone who is weak enough to succumb to self pity.  The alcoholic, especially one old enough to have elderly problems, is practised enough at that and a supporter needs to demonstrate a more positive outlook. 

 

Supporters for recovering alcoholics should study the twelve recovery stages and discreetly monitor the alcoholic’s progress without being intrusive unless it is absolutely necessary.

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