Living With a Alcoholic: I Need to Live My Life Through the Eyes of Others. (IS THIS NORMAL?)?
Question by Tomas: I need to live my life through the eyes of others. (IS THIS NORMAL?)?
Not only what I do but also how I feel, my life feels empty when I am the only one living it
Best answer:
Answer by Small Business Owner in TX
No, friend this is totally not normal. Normal is knowing who you are, but caring about the opinions of others. Abnormal is letting the last person who spoke to you determine how you feel about yourself.
Please seek professional counseling, if your wallet and/or insurance can stand the cost. If not possible, at least please start reading books about “self help” , “dysfunctional families”, etc. A great start is “Adult Children of Alcoholics” by Dr. Janet Woititz (even if you were brought up by people who never drank). Dr. Woititz spent her entire professional life working wit people who had ben spiritually wounded by their toxic upbringing. Her books are easy to read and to understand, and they are powerful. When I first read one of her books, I thought somebody had been looking in my window all my life — she absolutely laid out who I was, how I made decisions, how I let other people do most of my thinking, my approach to “relationships”, my difficulty with intimacy, how I was my own worst critic, and much more.
A wonderful life is waiting for you, but right now you’re being cheated out of it. With work and courage, though, you can claim what’s yours, and you’ll be amazed at how much more vibrant and joyful your life will become.
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