Dealing With an Alcoholic Husband: Why Is My Husband Doing This? It Is Making Me Want Out Even More. Long..pls Help.?
Question by ?Ash?: Why is my husband doing this? It is making me want out even more. Long..pls help.?
So after 5 years together, and too many ‘bad’ times together I have finally told my husband I am considering separating for awhile because I don’t know what else to do at this point. I am by no means perfect but over the years he has faught so dirty, calling me names and throwing below-the-belt insults at me in his rage that I have had enough. He is also an abuser of alcohol. We’ve tried counseling twice, and both times he has been nicer for a little bit…but then the horrible things flying out of his mouth and the nit-picking resumed (as in, every day for the nitpicking). Anyhow- we are tight on money and have two small children. I have been sad we didn’t get a christmas tree, and today my parents dropped one off. I was so touched. I told my husband when they left.
Him: Oh you must have told them how much you wanted a tree.”
Me: Yes I did. That was so kind of them..I had to hold back tears.”
Him: Wow, well that makes me feel like s**+”
Me: “why do you have to make it about you?”
Him: “it’s not about me, I’m allowed to have feelings! It makes me feel like a sh~tty dad. Have a heart for your freakin husband for once!!! Why do you have to be all negative?!”
Last night similarly, I opened a package from my sister:
“Oh my gosh, she got me a bluetooth! I was telling her how hard it is to talk on the phone with the little ones.”
Husband: “Great she took my gift for you.”
Why is he like this? I have already kindly, and clearly told him how his temper and meanness is making me realize maybe we shouldn’t be together and he behaves like this- ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
What is wrong with him? I have never, ever had these kinds of issues with my exes, let alone with anyone. I am a very non-confrontational optimist and all around easy-going person. LIke I said, definitely not perfect but I do hate fighting or meanness. I’m scared that I might be dealing with him having one of those crazy personality types..Narcisissm or something. Help! He is sucking the fun out of each and every day.
I am starting to feel nuts all the time…like..What am I doing that I’m not seeing???? But then I replay everything in my head and it doesn’t seem right. I’ve even started taking notes on our fights (like the above pasted ones) to make sure I’m playing fair.
Best answer:
Answer by I know nothing
What’s wrong with him is that’s he’s a passive-aggressive alcoholic and you’re an enabler (i.e., co-dependent). If you want to have any mental health for you and your children you need to get away from him asap.
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