How to Tell Family Member They Aren’t Being a Good Parent or Houseguest?
Question by Jasmine Kettledon: How To Tell Family Member They Aren’t Being A Good Parent Or Houseguest?
Recently a family member has moved in with me with her two kids after her husband left her. She’s an alcoholic. She has two boys, one is six the other is three. She still lets the six year old sleep with her and not the three year old. She always yells at the three year old when he does something wrong until he cries. While when the six year old does something wrong she let’s him keep doing it. She only threatens her kids. She is always threatening spanking. She’ll spank the three year old but not the six year old. She always buys stuff for the six year old but nothing for the three year old. Her ex-husband does the same thing. She treats the six year old like he is three and the three year old like he is six. To make it worse the six year old is a spoiled brat that doesn’t listen to anymore.She tells the three year old to go away all the time.
She is also mean to my dog in my house! I’ve told her countless time not to talk to my dog like that. She always threatens to kick my dog, she never does but every time I hear it I want to scream at her. She is extremely rude to me, she looks at me in degrading way. Sometimes I want to flip her off. I tried telling the people that own the house but it’s hard when everyone is family. Is it bad to say I hate her when she’s family?
I can’t stand it anymore. Either I say something or else I call Child Services, I don’t care if she’s family or not. She isn’t only doing the above but drinking while drinking with her kids in the car. I swear if she doesn’t stop I’m going to erupt.
Best answer:
Answer by Matt
I think you have to follow the natural instinct of your conscience regardless of the family member status. Some people will take a foot if you give them an inch…she obviously does not respect or appreciate the position you’ve given her as being a guest in your house. Does she pay anything? More than this, does she ever thank you with words or more importantly DEEDS?
Sadly some people don’t look at family member “status” as anything more but some sort of priveledge which they are endowed with….but I’ve known complete strangers who have been far more respected individuals than some family members.
I think you need to put the best interest of the children first and foremost…and if that means contacting civil services, than do it. Children growing up under the guidance of alcoholics who threaten with words and actions are doomed for catastrophe later down the road. I think the children would be better off under the care and protection of someone like yourself, yet that’s really not your responsibility or obligation. Perhaps there is a grandparent who can resolve the situation more efficiently.
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