Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by Anya: Is this verbal abuse? (Please, I really need help)?
My dad has a habit of bottling up all his anger until he explodes for no reason. His episodes of yelling and cursing are usually caused when something bad happens in his job, when his sister annoys him, when there is financial tension (he has a good job and we have a good amount of money; so it’s never a real problem i guess you can say), or when the tiniest minor comment makes him explode when he’s already annoyed. once or twice it was a result of him accidentally mixing xanax with alcohol.

at first everything is usually ok. he laugh, says he loves my mom and me, yeah.

he’ll usually start by blaming me for something minor, like leaving a glass somewhere or habitually locking a door that shouldn’t be locked. sometimes he just doesn’t blame me for anything and is just in general mad at the world like if his computer breaks down or he get back from traveling and is annoyed.

When my mother or I try to calm him down, he does things to provoke our anger, like sleeping on the couch right outside my bedroom: which he knows annoys my mother for obvious reasons and annoys me because the freakishly loud volume of his TV, the lights, and his HORRIBLE snoring right outside my bedroom leave me unable to sleep. If we DON’T act all mad at him for these things he does, then he just gets even more mad at the world.

now for the verbal abuse part:
he yells at me about how worthless i am; about how he can’t wait until i go to college “one more year!” he screams. he calls me a wh0re, a sl@t, and a ***** (despite the fact that he very well knows i’ve never slept with anyone). though, he also calls me a NUMBER of other names, those happen to be his favorite. (one of my particular favorites is “you no-good snotty piece of SH!T!!!!!”). he also adds f@cking to as an adjective to every phrase. however, something really scary is he tells me, or rather yells, that he’s going to kill me and then proceeds to go into detail about how he would kill me if i could. (once he also described in detail about how he wished he could rape me). he’ll accuse me of stealing food from the kitchen (how i can steal things from my own house im not sure) and threaten to call the cops on me and make up some reason as to why they’d take ME away for yelling at him to stop being terrible.

sometimes, he’ll bang on my door or window at all hours of the night calling me names through my door or window. purposefully turn the TV up all the way so I can’t sleep. call me names as I walk by.

he’ll either be silent and angry for the next few days THEN make up or make up right the next day. he never talks about it or apologizes. he always either buys my mom and i some kind of food we like or takes us shopping or takes us to an expensive restaurant and makes sure to spend a lot of money.

My mom always cuddles up to this; I act tense and silent, usually not acknowledging my father. my mom always tells me i should stop being so rude to my father….

Best answer:

Answer by Monique
too long, sorry

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