I Broke It Off With My “Best Friend.” Did I Overreact?
Question by mudpuppie_80: I broke it off with my “best friend.” Did I overreact?
My friend is seeing this guy and he won’t let her call their relationship anything – “only two friends that hook up.” She calls me all the time complaining how he is having mood swings, can’t get custody of his 3 month old daughter and is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic but is now drinking with frequency. She has been ditching me for over a month now to see this guy and practically lives with him at his parents house. She has basically dropped her 10 yr old daughter off with her sister and is annoyed to have to see her on the weekends wherein she tries to dump her off on me so she can go over to this guys house. Here is the kicker – she is like 37 years old! I am 29 and her lack of priorities is pissing me off.
We made plans to go shopping 2 days ago and I met her at her house. I said “we haven’t hung out in so long I’ll see if my husband would watch your daughter so we can do a big girls shopping trip!” I get there and she says we have to stop by this boyfriends place. We get there and she leaves me sitting in her car with her daughter for well over a half hour! Her daughter announces that she will most likely be spending the night with me since her mom wants to go out and drink. I was like Uh no, that wasn’t even discussed! Her daughter says to me -“I get so tired of spending the nights at peoples houses .” I get fed up with this and knock on his door. I am horrified by what I find in that trailer! It looks like it is off of the show hoarders. There is no room to walk or set any thing down on. There are dishes, dirty laundry, beer bottles and ash trays EVERYWHERE! The parents are sitting on the couch smoking and drinking. The mother is huge she tells me that she never moves from that spot that it “isn’t safe on the outside.” I’m not even sure if she is wearing underwear. The dad gives me a once over in a creepy way and smiles all drunkenly. My friend is in her “boyfriends” bedroom but he won’t come out he is 35 years old and acting like a jerky teenager. I tell her it’s not going to happen today. I’m going home she has been really rude. He won’t come out but she wants me to meet him so I go in (not wanting to AT ALL) I have a sick moment of realization as to who this person is and I leave of my own accord. (in high school I went to this individuals home for a party and his roommate tried to rape me in the most horrible way. When I attempted to leave her boyfriend laughed in my face and shoved me back onto the guys bed.) Later she came to my house and I told her why I was concerned about her.
I told her what this guy had done to me. She just said “well I’m sorry that happened to you but he has changed now.” She was completely self absorbed and not even receptive to what I had said. It is obvious that he hasn’t changed unless it has been to get much worse than he was before. What if he gets drunk and touches her daughter or slaps her around? She has her kid exposed to him and his family now. Even after all of that I agreed to watch her daughter for a few hours and let her barrow $ 20.00 that I really couldn’t afford to let her barrow. She has yet to pay that back. I told her I wouldn’t watch her daughter anymore because she needed to start being a mother and stop treating her child like an inconvenience.
I wrote her a note saying – I am sorry but I won’t be around that type of a person I am horrified that you don’t think more highly of yourself. I can’t believe you picked some guy you’ve been boning for a month over someone who has stuck by you for years. I don’t think that we can be friends anymore. She hasn’t responded at all. Did I over react?
I know it sounds stupid to feel sorry but we were friends for quite a while before she started on this downhill decent.
Best answer:
Answer by StarFruits
No you didn’t over react
in fact, you should of done more
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