Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by : moms boyfriend being inappropriate?
hi guys. this is a serious question and i need serious answers. rather touchy subject that i haven’t discussed with ANYBODY, and until i take some type of action, i don’t think i’m ready to. i’m a little desperate. i know this will end up being lengthy, so i really really appreciate it if you take the time to read it. if you don’t, you don’t need to make me aware that you don’t have the time. extra kudos if you take the time to answer. it would be a really huge help to me.

i’m 17. my mothers boyfriend is…crazy, and i he’s totally out of line in the way he talks to and treats me. calling me sexy…complimenting my body. walking into the bathroom when i’m in the shower. barging into my bedroom. coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around my waist. touching me in areas that would be covered by a bathing suit…often. telling me how suckable my toes are?? offering me alcohol. just the other day we went out on his boat, and he was so insistent that i bring a bikini so i could dance on the top of his boat and “give all of the men something nice to look at.”

i’m no angel, but i totally feel the way he treats me is both inappropriate and disrespectful to not only me, but my mother as well. he’s always over our house, and he has trouble putting the bottle down. my ma thinks everything he does while drunk is cute and excusable. grinding chanel into the couch, cute. trying to kiss chanel, cute. asking chanel to dance for him, cute. however, chanel doesn’t find this too cute at all. (i’m chanel, btw) when he left the next day i told my mother that i didn’t feel comfortable at home when he was drinking, and i got in trouble. “he was just playing” she says. i’m “being too serious.” he is always over, and my mother keeps the liquor cabinet full. oftentimes i stay with my boyfriend or over a friends house, but i don’t think it’s fair that i’m feeling our house is not my home. in my opinion, he needs to chill out with the drinking…and chill out in his own home. he can take her with him for all i care, to be quite frank.

this is not the first time i’ve had problems with my mothers boyfriend. a few years ago i was raped by her boyfriend. my mother and i had gotten into a fight and he was “comforting me.” my mother and i have a lot of problems, and it was a pretty serious fight, physically and verbally. still, i told her immediately after it happened (she was in the kitchen cooking dinner). long story short: he didn’t leave that night, and it took him cheating on her with somebody other than her daughter for her to leave him…so if you haven’t noticed, but mother has this weakness for hot men, and when i tell her how i feel about these things, my words go in one ear and out the other. i’m totally open with her, and she’s completely aware. whoever said ignorance is bliss isn’t lying. my ma is the queen of playing stupid. anything with the potential to cause conflict between them is anything she will not touch.

so…am i just screwed? i’m tired of the way he talks to me…and the way he touches me. he’s been touching me for a few weeks now…telling my mother isn’t going to solve anything. we’ve been down this road before. pathetic as i feel for admitting this i seem to have trouble saying the word “no” when he comes near. one of my biggest fears is breaking up their relationship, but it’s stressing me out, and i need to worry about my own feelings! my ma is a big girl, and i guess i am too, but i should come first here dmmit. my mother + no man is not a good combination…or lack of, should i say. i’m not sure whether i’d be more happy putting up with him, or with my mother having no man in the house. both sound like hell to me.

i feel like such a wimp. i’m 17 and i feel ridiculous that i let this happen to me, like i’m old enough to prevent it from happening. i’m not talking about the flirting,i can deal with that…the touching though. i need it to end. what can i do? who should i talk to? what’s the right way to go about this type of thing? sorry this was so long, just wanted you to understand where i’m coming from. my mother does not care, anon sperm donor not around, and i pretty much don’t know who to go to and how to handle this. really, really, really desperate. help me!? thanks.

Best answer:

Answer by PrettyLady
The next time he does it to you call the cops. You should really look into staying with someone else and leave your mother alone. She is not going to change. You really need to get some help. The Maybe you can talk to a family member and see about staying with one of them.

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