Diagnose Disease Symptoms: Health or Education… Priorities, Straightening Out My Life?

Question by i_ride_a_rocket: Health or Education… priorities, straightening out my life?
I am 17 years old (female) and a junior in high school and a freshman in college (through the Running Start program.) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over a year ago, after suffering severe ups and downs that began in middle school. I have always exhibited “adult symptoms” rather than adolescent, which has created huge descrepencies in my academic performance. My grades’ qualities are wildly inconsistent, and reflect the episodal pattern of my disorder. I have managed to maintain a 2.7 GPA thru high school (despite dehabilitating lows and out-of-control highs) but this past year has been the worse… the disease has escaladed and episodes have been harder to predict and even harder to manage. I was hospitalized for suicidality and a suicide attempt, and have made 3 attempt.s this year. Until a few months ago, I have been primarily depressive in my mood. Now mania is becoming more of an issue and interfering with my life. I see doctors very regularly and am on three medications
(Risperdal, Celexa, and Eskalith). I am starting the full DBT program in June on top of my bi-weekly therapy.

However, my grades suck. I have 2 Fs, one C (in Creative Writing, my favorite class) and had to drop my college History class and am taking a Hardship Withdrawal from my college Health class.

Is it worth driving myself mad in the next 4 weeks of school in order to maybe pull off a passing grade in my biology and AP lit classes? Stress is never condusive to my mood, but simultaneously I will feel like such a failure if I can’t “fix everything.” How much will my horrid grades affect the rest of my life? Is it even worth continuing to try to seek a reason for existence when I will only perpetuate the cycle?

Please help. What the hell do I do?

Best answer:

Answer by nina w
You truly need to slow down just a bit. If you want to continue your education so you don’t feel like a failure that is your choice, Yet you need to take some time out for yourself as well to calm down at times and take a step back a breath. You can only take life one breath at a time. It’s good that your getting help you’ve taken the first step and continue to go forward. Please don’t try to stress yourself too much. Stress is a major trigger for bi-polar and is not healthy at all. You do however do need to take care of your health that should be your main priority because if you don’t then you won’t be able to continue and further your education like you want to do.
Take care of yourself and take it slow don’t rush things because that’s definitely not healthy.

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