Should We Remain “friends” or Is That What We Even Are?

Question by godessoflight: Should we remain “friends” or is that what we even are?
A year ago in October dated a man and at the time he and I were both single because his girlfriend was dating other men and I as in an alcoholic abusive relationship. We dated for a month and then he went back to his girlfriend and I went back to my boyfriend. We kept in touch and talked online and I continued to have problems in my relationship (obviously) and so did he (she kept cheating). I finally got fed up and I left my boyfriend and he did the same. He and I have both been really lonely at times and we have leaned on one another quite a bit. The problem is that we thought about dating again and he shows all the signs of WANTING to be in a relationship with me. I was supposed to show up to his house one night and I wasn’t able to and I had no way of contacting him and he was REALLY worried. I mean to the point where he couldn’t sleep and the people that he worked with were concerned. He thought something bad had happened to me and he said he couldn’t deal with it. It he didn’t want to leave the phone or the computer until I had gotten a hold of him. I finally got to leave him a number to reach me at and he called me and told me he was honestly scared and that he loves me. When I finally made it down to visit him things went fine at first and he initiated all the hugging and kissing etc. By the time I left though he said that he didn’t think he was ready to be in a relationship and that he and I should probably just remain friends and that he didn’t expect me to wait for him to get over his ex. So I have started dating and he says it makes him really jealous but that he honestly doesn’t want to end the friendship and that he can’t live without me but he’s still not ready for a relationship. I haven’t dated much as I got married when I was 17 and when that one ended I went straight into another one. He told me not to wait for him because he’s not sure when he’ll be ready to date or what will happen once he is. He DID tell me that if he were ready though that he KNOWS he would be able to love me and care for me in a way that I have always deserved to be. I am so confused… If someone could offer some advice I would DEEPLY appreciate it….

we haven’t had the “s” word… thought that would help…

Best answer:

Answer by Jack O
There’s no way to predict which way his mind or hart will lead him. What you need to do is stay strong in your hart and mind. If you work on the things that will make you a better, stronger person you’ll be able to handle what ever life sends your way. Good luck.

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