How to Handle a Beligerent Alcoholic at Holiday Dinner?
Question by Bella: How to handle a beligerent alcoholic at holiday dinner?
There is a very beligerent, heavy drinking, relapsed alcoholic who is an in-law and scheduled to come with his wife (also an in-law) to our holiday dinner. For 20 years I put up with the my father-in-law being an alcoholic until he died and every get-together and meal of any kind was completely ruined.
Fast forward a few years and my sister-in-law marries an alcoholic who relapsed a two years ago with no intention of seeking help. Even before he drank he was beligerent, but now it’s unbearable. He’ll definitely ruin our holiday meal and will definitely bring his own liquor.
My husband thinks I’m making a big deal out of this (they’re children of alcoholics), but the entire holiday get-together will indeed be ruined. He’ll probably arrive drunk as well. His actions are literally nauseating (and I’m no prude).
The rest of the family drinks very reasonably and will want to drink wine etc. My “birth family” is dead so I want to look forward to a nice Christmas. What can I do?
I’m medically ill, so I have no desire or ability to invest myself in this person’s disease by reading or attending meetings; that would be the job of my husband.
My question would be: Do you think it’s morally wrong to ask him to leave if he arrives drunk or becomes drunk? It’s not that I’m intolerant of drinking, but a beligerent alcoholic drunk who ruins every occasion is not simply “drinking.” A teen in the family said “It’s only several hours, deal with it,” but I feel I shouldn’t have to do that. My husband is making me feel guilty because his sister may not attend if her alcoholic husband is offended with “rules” or is asked to leave (via cab) and he really wants his sister there. I say it’s enabling the alcoholic and his family, who by the way have very young children, a sad story in itself.
Best answer:
Answer by ghost
If you can’t uninvite him there is really no solution. I deal with family members I cannot stand by not being within two miles of them during the holidays.
What do you think? Answer below!