Life’s Rules?

Question by Smokey.: Life’s rules?
1.There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s.
2.The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3.I live in my own little world but it’s OK, everyone knows me here.
4.I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?”
5.I don’t do drugs ’cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
6.A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”
7.Money can’t buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
8.I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9.If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?
10.I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
11.The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
12.If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
13. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. Definition of a teenager……God’s punishment for sex!!!!!!

Best answer:

Answer by ¸.•*´`*?To0DaMnFaBuL0uS?*´`*•.¸
nice

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