How Can I Keep My Worthless, Unemployed, Alcoholic Brother From Ruining My Life?
Question by LadyAngler: How can I keep my worthless, unemployed, alcoholic brother from ruining my life?
He’s 55 – I’m 9 years younger. All my life he was horrible to me. He told everyone I was our parents “mistake” child (I wasn’t planned). He said horrible things to me when he’s been drunk and when I was little he tried forcing me to do sexual things to him. All of this he claims to have NO memory of and acts like he never said or did these things. Funny he can’t remember any of this. He’s been unemployed for 2 years (he quit his job), broke and on the verge of being homeless.
He quit his job 2 years ago, did nothing to find a new job (everything was just too physical for him). To get sympathy he told everyone he had lung cancer and only had months to live – which he’s far surpassed.
He has a neighbor across the street totally manipulated to feel sorry for him. She was a former alcoholic so she’s been enabling him. Now she’s calling me and wanting to tell me how wonderful she’s been for helping him and trying to lay a guilt trip on me.
I want nothing to do with my brother. I’m 9 years younger than him and at a time in my life when I needed him – he kicked me to the curb and treated me really bad.
I despise him and truly could care less if he loses everything and ends up out on the street. I told him I refused ot help him and he would not be able to live with me so he needed to seek help elsewhere.
Problem is this neighbor of his keeps calling. I just keep ignoring her calls. My brother is playing the sympathy card on her and anyone else – feigning cancer and refusing to get a job even if it’s delivering pizzas.
He’s just sitting on his house waiting to be rescued but they’re coming for his house in a few weeks because he’s now foreclosed on it. His electricity and phone have been turned off. He’s done nothing to find help or assistance from churches or charity.
He just sits there begging for money (to buy beer and cigarettes) and hardly eats anything. I stopped sending him money and I’m sure that’s why his neighbor is calling me – to make me feel guilty and tell me he needs help.
I would help him if he made efforts to help himself but he’s done absolutely nothing. Is it horrible to feel this way? I resent him and and disgusted with him for doing this to himself. And now expects handouts and help from everyone else.
Anyone else been in this situation with a family member who’s worthless and a moocher? (And alcoholic?)..
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