Q&A: Could My Mother Suffer From Depression or a Controlling Disorder?
Question by SjamieT: Could my mother suffer from depression or a controlling disorder?
Hi! I wish I could figure out what has been up with my mom. Controlling, Selfish, Points the Finger, etc… I feel like ever since she filed for divorce she has been different, but everyone seems to tell me she has been like this my whole life and I am just now noticing. She was married to an alcoholic for 30 years and just divorced him. Even now that he doesn’t live with us, she can’t take criticism of her own, but walks around following people complaining and picking an argument with them. When she’s done with them, she’ll find someone else in the house to argue with. She always picks on what’s not done right and how good nothing is, but when confronted about it she says all she ever does is point out the positive and how dare we say such a thing. We all love her very much and would love to see her happy. We all constantly clean, cook, ask her if she needs anything, etc…. we all feel like nothing is good enough for her even friends of the family and my father. We can’t even live our own lives without her complaining that we’re not making her happy with our choices. Everything seems to be about her. She just suffered from a pulmonary embolism and heart attack and even that doesn’t seem to make her more appreciative of life. I don’t understand why she can’t stop pointing the finger. Even little things such as her being hasty and angry when setting down something and she doesn’t notice my coffee and laptop. She spilled my coffee on my lap top and when I asked her to be more careful next time, all she does is walk away not offering to help me fix my laptop or clean up and say I shouldn’t have been using my laptop on the coffee table. Not only that, she always has to be in control ~ I recently moved back home due to recession causing me to be laid off. Now that I’m home for a pit stop, I’m not allowed to leave the house unless she “allows” me too because I live in her house and I listen to her rules. I can understand that part ~ cleaning, be responsible, be kind to others ~ but I can’t even leave to run errands without permission. Not only that, my wedding plans have had to be put on hold because she’s so controlling, all she does is say she won’t be at my wedding to the “horrible man like her husband.” He doesn’t drink! Every man to her is my dad. I wish she’d go to counseling. Now I’m forced to put my wedding on hold, for her! Everything has to be about her!
Should I talk to her doctor? If so, I wouldn’t know what to say!
Best answer:
Answer by Ted Sheckler
She’s a drama queen.
Stop trying to make your mom being an asshole into a medical condition. You can’t fix a garbage personality.
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