I Need Advice Before I DUMP My Bf of 7 Months.?
Question by ZaylaMay80: I need advice before I DUMP my bf of 7 months.?
Ok..I am going to make this as short and simple as possible. I am eight years older than my bf–he is 21 years old, going on 22 years old. We have been seeing each other 7 months, and we have been in a committed relationship for three months. At first I had a problem with the age gap b/c I thought he may be too young, he assured me that he didn’t have a problem with my age and that he didn’t think I was “that much older than him.” Our dating started off kind of ruff—he was late for the first get-together which wasn’t a date per say, it was just a way for us to break the ice with each other. Then a week later, he didn’t show up for our very first date citing that he didn’t have the money and was too ashamed to tell me, I was pissed and decided not to continue dating him and then I thought about it and decided to give him another chance. Here are a list of the problems that I have been having with him every since we started seeing each other 7 months ago:
1. He doesn’t like to talk on the phone, he prefers texting.
2. He doesn’t like to check his email.
3. He doesn’t like to talk about sex and he doesn’t like to have it often. (Even when we do have sex, it takes him a long time to reach a climax or he just doesn’t climax at all. It’s strange to me b/c he is only 21 years old..I don’t know if this is normal for someone his age. )
4. He doesn’t like to plan dates, he prefers to just make plans at the last moment. ( I told him that I prefer that he gives me a 48 hours notice when planning dates–not all the time, but most of the time and for a short period of time, he was good at doing it, but recently he has slipped back into his bad habit of making plans at the last moment).
5. He doesn’t like to be on time for dates or outings, and he just recently started being on time after I told him if he was more than 10 mins late, he might as well turn his car back around and go home b/c at that point I will not be going anywhere with him. He has been late for most of out dates and outings, but I never said anything until recently b/c I thought he would come to the conclusion that being on time is a must.
6. When he doesn’t have access to his car, he will allow months to go by without taking me out on a date b/c he claims he doesn’t like to take public transportation, that he hasn’t taken it since he was 15 years old or better yet, he cited that he didn’t know how to. (Recently he put his foot in his mouth when he revealed that him and his friends will take the bus to a Beer Feast that is held in the city where I live once a year, when I called him out on this lie, he looked dumb founded).
7. He is very, very moody and gets upset and annoyed of the most smallest things that the average person may not get upset about. ( He told me that someone annoys him everyday and that he can’t help it. Recently, he got annoyed at me b/c I took more than ONE MINUTE to order food at drive in, I was totally shocked b/c I didn’t think something like that would get his blood to boiling. Two days later is sent me text apologizing for his behavior, yet and still I never forgot how silly he reacted).
8. He seems to always be broke yet I have caught him in several lies concerning his finances. He doesn’t seem to have money to take me out at least ONCE a month, but he can go partying, smoking weed and drinking on a weekly basis. I honestly am starting to believe he has a drinking problem. He made a comment once that he was a “functioning alcoholic” and then said later on that he was just kidding, yet at the same time he said that he can drink 24 cans of beer in one night. When I attempted to know where all his money goes too, he cited that “he didn’t know and that he doesn’t keep count.” Does anyone think he lying and perhaps as some sort of alcohol addiction?
He says he really cares about me and can see himself in a long term relationship with me, but that it is hard for him to change or to the simple things that are required to make a relationship work. He says that in his mind and heart he so desires to change some of his ways for me because, he believes I am worth it, but he says it has to happen on it’s on, that he can’t force it to happen. There are somethings he has improved on, but he only does them for a short period of time and then he goes back to his old bad ways for instance. So…over the weekend I broke up with him after 7 months of turmoil with him, granted he doesn’t cheat (at least that is what my heart and his mouth is telling me), but I am just concerned that he may never be willing to comprise for the good of the relationship. He had tears in his eyes when I broke up with him and cited to me that instead of me walking completely away and never seeing him again, maybe we should just start dating again and maybe if he doesn’t have the “pressue” to do the “simple things’ requried for the relationship to work, that somehow he will just change on his own. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
And please know that I do not FORCE or PRESSURE my ex into doing anything. I am not like most women he has dealt with who has stalked or nagged him to no end. I don’t call everyday, (in fact I don’t call at all) I don’t even text him everyday, I give him all the space he needs, I don’t care if he party’s with his friends, I just want him to take the relationship he begged for seriously and not take me for granted. What more does he want? Why does he find it so hard to do the SIMPLE THINGS required in any type of relationship. I just think he has alot of excues and it may not be soley do to his age. What is a woman to do? He doesn’t cheat from what I can see, he is respectful even when blowing off steam, we have so much fun together when we hang out, but he doesn’t seem to know what is required to make a relationship last in the long run. I know his father wasn’t around but damn, is that any excuse? Shouldnt’ he try to find out how to treat a woman who is worth it?
Best answer:
Answer by douglas
And he doesn’t like you. Get rid of him.
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