Alcohol Abuse Advice

Maintaining a Healthy Love Relationship in the Midst of Conflict

 

Many people who are involved in relationships such as marriage or other partnerships experience conflict. If conflict is dealt with appropriately, it can strengthen the relationship, otherwise it can have a negative impact on the relationship, for example, frequent arguments, uncomfortable silences, growing apart or the end of the relationship all together.

Having a good understanding of yourself and your partner, knowing how to communicate and express thoughts and feelings effectively are all critical for a healthy relationship. Love alone is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship, we also need to learn the skills or have the ‘tools’ to maintain and strengthen the relationship.

Healthy relationships are important for personal happiness, physical and mental wellbeing. People in relationships are often attracted to each other because their partner is different to themselves. Differences in personality, cultural background, gender and family of origin can lead to conflict. Conflict involves personal values and past experiences. It can be a good thing if it helps the individuals to grow within their relationship, deepen and enrich their relationship.

However, conflict can also be destructive and painful if not handled well.

Now the question you should ask yourself is this;

How do you handle conflicts?

If you can put your ego aside and try to keep friction to a minimum, your relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain things with the other party involved that will help, too. This means to deal with others as you would want them to deal with you.

For example, let’s look at fictitious John and Mary, out on their first date at a restaurant. A drunken man passes by their table and accidentally spills Mary’s glass of water. John gets upset and says something along the lines of, “That makes me mad! I hate drunks. They should all be put in jail”. Mary, on the other hand, who has an alcoholic father (unknown at this point to John), may feel embarrassed and saddened by John’s revelation and get quiet, giving only brief “yes” or “no” answers from that point on.

Hopefully, John picks up on this. He can say, “Mary, I’m sorry for my outburst and really didn’t mean that. Actually, a drunk driver caused an accident that I read about recently, and I’d really like to learn about alcoholism and understand it more.”

A statement like this could help ease the conversation into a more productive stage. Then instead of having an argument about addictive drinking and possibly ending or breaking up the relationship because of conflict, the relationship between two people could actually develop a little farther along or deepen.

And John and Mary could both learn more about each other and broaden their perspectives in the process thereby establishing a healthy relationship between them.