Is My My Boyfriend an Alcoholic?
Question by jasmin: Is my my boyfriend an alcoholic?
I’ve noticed a change in his behaviour so I just needed a 2nd opinion….
My bf enjoys having a cold one once in a while. He’ll sometimes buy beer and drink at home while watching the game, or once a week he’ll go to a pub and have a few. He won’t get DRUNK but I guess you could say he craves alcohol once in a while. I’m the opposite. I personally don’t drink. I’ll have a glass of Bailey’s on special occasions, but when I go out I don’t ever feel the NEED to drink.
We broke up 4 months ago and stayed apart for about 3 months. He’s been going through a LOT of stress…financial problems, work problems, family issues….it started getting between us and I found out he lied about something important and hence the reason I broke up with him. We eventually got back together. When we did though, I realized he picked up the habit of drinking a lot. To ME, “a lot” means he’ll go to a bar 3-4 times a week. On 2 occasions, he came home drunk and called me at 3am…he never did this before of all the 2 years we’ve been together. When I voiced my concern, he said he used to drink almost every night when we were broken up coz he was feeling depressed and loney and stressed about his personal problems. I told him just to be careful coz it seems he’s making it a habit. He said dont worry, dont worry I know how to control myself.
SIDE NOTE: he’s Muslim, but not that religious….however for the month of Ramadan, he decided to give up alcohol for that month.
So here’s what happened: yesterday, we met up around 4pm. When I went to kiss him, I smelled alcohol. I asked him if he’s been drinking and he said no at first but then admited that yes he did. I told him okayyy but it’s like 4pm on a Monday….you never drink that early?? And he said I know but I just wanted to have one coz I havent had one in a month. Then he mentioned the place he went to and it was a very pricey neighbourhood, so I was surpsied he went there coz he’s kind of tight on money. What bothered me more was that we usually hang out in that area, but we never actually went to the cafes or restaurants there because of how expensive it is. But then he goes drinking there alone??? Afterwards, he said he wanted to buy shoes for 80$ . All this started to bother me. Last week, I borrowed 20$ from him to pay for a cab ride home, and he asked it back the very next day. He said “I need the 20$ I have nothing else for this week”. How can he be so poor if he clearly has enough money to DRINK at expensive bars and plans on buying 80$ shoes???? I told him this, he got defensive, he got angry and he somehow turned it around on ME!! We got into a big fight and I walked away from him and left. He has not called once last night and did not leave a voicemail this morning. I have a gut feeling he went drinking.
So my question is, how much is “too much” before you start entering the “alcoholic” stage? Is 3-4 times a week a lot?? Everytime we fight these days, the first thing he does is go drinking. I’ve been with him for more that 2 years, I love this guy like crazy. Sure we had problems, but we also had amazing moments together and we both want to make it work to bring them back….but sometimes I feel like Im the only one making an effort. Him spending money on alcohol rather than assuring me a safe ride home….that sounds really messed up to me. Also I should mention, on 2 occasions when we wanted to make love, he had trouble getting an erection which NEVER used to happen….and usually when we do it, he doesnt last very long. As a result, I find that he does not initiate sex as much as I do. He can go 3 weeks without sex but I want it much more often. Is this related to alcohol?? Should I be worried???
Best answer:
Answer by itsjustme
WOW that is way too long
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!