I Wont Marry an Alcoholic. What Can I Do to Help?
Question by Barbz: I wont marry an alcoholic. What can I do to help?
My “about to be husband” has a family history of alcohol and drug abuse. For 3 years now I have sat by and watched him drink a 12 pack daily and smoke weed. I have nothing against smoking week every once in awhile (i’m allergic to T.H.C. so I don’t smoke) or drinking a beer or two a night. But it’s got to the point where I feel he’s unhappy if he doesn’t drink or smoke. And I have to compete with those two substances. We are supose to get married in September but last night I told him that I was going to leave him if he didn’t get help, because I can’t see a good and happy future with an alcoholic. And I’m not going to risk my future for someone that wants to throw his away.
I love this man VERY VERY much and I would do anything for him. For about a year now we haven’t spoken to his father. His father has been in and out of rehab and everytime that they see eachother, his father relapes. So to get him healing we stopped the communication until he is better and stong enough to not relapes. But I don’t want my husband to have to feel that pain. I don’t want him in and out of rehab. All I can do is give him love and support. He is also bi-polar (both of them are) and he doesn’t want to get help for that either because he refuses to be like his father, but that exactly the path that he’s going down. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t stand around and watch him destroy his future and life. So last night I broke down and cryed it all out to him and told him that if he didn’t change, I was going to leave because my future is still bright. I told him that I am very unhappy and deserve happyness. He agreed and broke down in tears as well. He starts today. He says that he will do anything to keep me around and that he loves me more that booze and weed. In the 4 years that we’ve been together I’ve never seen him cry or show any hurtful emotion. We are taking this day by day and one step at a time. I will not leave him in his time of need, I would make his situation worse. What do I do? How can help him overcome his addiction? He won’t go see a doctor. He says that he can do it on his own, but I fear that he wont be able to. Please help. Anyone…
ant to see a doctor because he doesn’t want to be
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