I’m in Love With My Heterosexual Best Friend, Why Can’t He Forgive Me for Having Sex With His Wife?
Question by Allen: I’m in love with my heterosexual best friend, why can’t he forgive me for having sex with his wife?
Mitch and I have been best friends since middle school. We’re 29 years old now. I’m a closeted bisexual man but I’m slowly but surely coming out of the closet. Mitch has been my best friend for 16 years but the love I felt for him was secretly bigger than that. My entire family loves him because Mitch grew up with an alcoholic mother and a physically abusive father. So, they showed him support and even came to live with us at some point. I have the COOLEST parents in the world. Mitch dated my twin sister for three years, he got her pregnant and they had a girl. Two months later, the girl I was dating at the time gave birth to my son. So, we both became fathers around the same time(age 17). My sister died in a car accident a year after my son and my niece was born. I admit I was always jealous of the fact that my sister was dating my best friend but believe me, I was hurt and devastated when my sister died. So, Mitch and I shared everything together and we became more like “moms” than dads. My parents helped us raise the kids being that my sister died and my son’s mother lost custody of my son when they found marijuana in his system when he was born. We dated girls here and there(I SECRETLY had sex with other guys) but for the most part, it’s always been about ME, MITCH, MY SON and HIS DAUGHTER(MY NIECE).
But 4 years ago, Mitch met April and he fell so hard in love it made me sick. Once again, I felt like another woman was taking Mitch away from me. But on the other hand, I admit that I was attracted to April in addition to being secretly in love with Mitch. Mitch cheated on April once and I gave her a shoulder to cry on. But I was PISSED when she decided to take him back due to my feelings for him, not her. We’ve been flirting for 4 years before something finally happened. By the time April and I had sex, he and Mitch was already married with an infant son together. This affair went on for 6 months until Mitch found out about it when his old nosy neighbor opened up her huge mouth. Mitch confronted me at my job and attacked me with his fists almost getting me fired and himself arrested. He left April for 2 months and then he moved back in. But he won’t talk to me still and its totally not fair. I do NOT want his wife! I tried to apologize. I love Mitch so much and I told him that in a very long letter I wrote to him expressing my REAL feelings for him. He emailed me calling me a “homo” and a “f*gg*t” and that I need to “get medical help”.
I know I was wrong but it breaks my heart. Why is Mitch always choosing women over me? And does he have the right to forbid me from seeing my niece? That’s the ONLY PIECE OF MY SISTER THAT I HAVE LEFT!! My son and his daughter are cousins but they’re like siblings. They’re 12 years old. How could he take it out on THEM? I love Mitch and its a shame he doesn’t reciprocate. How am I any more wrong than April is? Should Mitch be preaching to anyone about faithfulness when he cheated on April? What should I do?
Best answer:
Answer by soundman
1. Your an extremely selfish person. How could you stab your friend in the back like that? That was not cool man. You shouldnt have slept with his woman
2. Your intention ALL ALONG was to break him and April up, because you want mitch for your self. If you really loved him or cared about him, you would want him to be happy first and foremost. You were thinking about your own happiness only and know youve lost everything
3. Mitch Chooses women over you because mitch is NOT a homosexual. Simple as that, And you dont really want to see your niece you just want to use her to see Mitch again.
Now with that done
Heres what you need to do. Call April, get her to call Mitch or go to his house, and tell him the 3 of you need to talk. Tell him the truth that your sorry you did that, you dont know what you were doing and make it right. Mitch Needs to give April a second chance since she gave him one. Its only fair. Then you leave both of them to sort things out with each other.
At the end of the day, with guys, a best friend is impossible to replace no matter what they do to you. Eventually you two will be friends again, but next time dont be so selfish and care about Mitch’s feelings not just your own
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