Does a Woman Always Know What She Is Doing During Sex? Is This Rape?
Question by hunter849: Does a woman always know what she is doing during sex? Is this rape?
My friend, “Kim,” and I were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. According to our mutual friend, “Tony,” (who was married but his pregnant wife was out of state visiting her parents) Kim “is an alcoholic,” and “has a drinking problem.”
Tony then bragged to everyone about having “wore that ass out.”
He tried to take Kim out another two times but she showed no interest in him and told me she was “not attracted to him” and blamed the night on “alcohol.” She said she “wished” that I had stayed with her that night.
I do not approve of Tony’s actions, but he is one of my best friends, as is Kim. But, I’m irritated that Kim continues to place herself in such situations.
Should I confront Tony and tell him he is a jerk for intoxicating a friend and taking advantage of her?
Kim claims “nothing happened that night” b/c when Tony took his shirt off, she found his manboobs, excess skin, and hairy chest and back to be extremely unattractive.
I have feelings for Kim and she and I recently began seeing each other but her alcoholism and bad decision-making (as in the scenario above) make me hesitant to want to be with her in the long term.
What should I do?
Kim was going through a lot in the past year-both her parents were drug addicts who had committed suicide within months of each other, her BF had been cheating on her, she had lost her job and her apartment, and she was living with friends.
Tony stopped drinking but kept pouring drinks for Kim. She became extremely intoxicated and Tony asked me to leave and said that he would drop off Kim in the morning (I had been her ride to the party). I looked at Kim and she complained that I was pressuring her to leave (it was around 3 AM) and that she just wanted to stay and kick it.
So, I left, thinking that she wanted to be intimate with Tony.
As I drove off, Tony tried to grab Kim but she walked away from him. Some days later, I found out that Tony had kept pouring drinks for Kim and she had become even more intoxicated.
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