Q&A: How’s the First Chapter of My Novel? Dont Answer Until It Ends With “He Then Drove Away”!?

Question by paramore :D: how’s the first chapter of my novel? dont answer until it ends with “he then drove away”!?
Remembering Jane

Prolouge

“What do you mean ‘she wasn’t here’, people don’t just disappear, I spoke to her not fifteen minutes ago…”My mother wept.

chapter 1
They say that most children are abducted by a family member or a close friend. I always thought they were wrong since most children I read about had been stolen by some random person off the street. 
I would watch the news with my dad and listen to a report on a missing girl or boy. They looked so innocent in their picture and I worried for them. I would pray for them and their family; hoping everything would be alright. But you don’t always get a happy ending. I never thought something as terrible as
kidnapping could happen to me.
My name is Jane, I’m a thirteen year old girl and this is my story of when I was taken.
*********************************
9:00 a.m.     8 hours
It was a bright Sunday morning for April. The past few days had been pouring non stop.
My mom would be watching CBS News Sunday Morning, sipping her coffee with her nightgown on and wore one of my headbands. this was her “relaxed” look.
Dad would always cook pancakes on Sunday. He was a family guy like most of his brothers were. Of course, there is always that one person who sticks out of a family. Either someone is doing drugs or is an alcholholic or is the most serious one out of the most outgoing family.
“Your uncle Rick came on parol yesterday.” My dad said chewing on pieces of his pancakes.”He’s a good man now, Jane.”
My uncle Rick was a strange man. He would waste his money on beer instead of supporting his family. One time he got so drunk, he broke into a jewlery store and passed out on the glass shelf with a broken beer bottle in his hand.
Before he was an alcoholic, he was the sweetest man; alcoholic was the last word you would think of. His pale blue eyes would hypnotize you and you could never say no to him. He was clean, always shaved, he didn’t look like a thirt-three year old man; more like a twenty year old. When I was six years old, he would take me shopping at the local thrift shop. My parents were at work most of the time until my little sister was born the next year. I haven’t seen my uncle since because I didn’t need him anymore and he was in jail.

2:00     4 hours

When my sister needed help with her homework, I usually helped her since my mother was either cooking or cleaning and my father worked. I would get frustrated with my sister at times when she could only think of three words that rhymed with ‘grow’. Kindergarten homework was tough when working with a girl like my her. 
“Emma is only five.” My mother would say.
“Have some patience.” She would say.

When i finished my own homework, I was lucky to have a little free time before supper. But then, my mother would make me stop watching T.V. and have me make my father a margarita. 
“No man complains about a strong drink.” He told when i put too much tequila in his drink. ” Only a wimp would complain.”

 5:38    45 minutes

After dinner, my mother told me to bring our dog, Charlie, outside in the back because he had ate too much beef which would upset his stomach. 
I didn’t want to get off of the couch to let him out. However, the only other decision my mother offered was to clean the kitchen,  which meant I would have to shake out the table cloth outside and have crumbs fling into my eye. if only my dad and I weren’t such messy eaters. So I let my dog outside.
I went up to my room and sat in the chair next to my desk. I opened up the left draw down and picked up a handful of play bills. I really didn’t understand the plays when I saw them; I was too young. my mother brought me to see “Les Miserables”, which she really wanted to see and decided to bring me for some reason. Meanwhile, I was only eight at the time. 
After seeing so many plays, i wanted to be on broadway when i got older. Though i was a terrible singer and we couldn’t afford dance or singing lessons, I didn’t have my hopes down.

6:05      19 minutes

When my mother searched through the yard, she couldn’t find Charlie. 
“Charlie! Charlie!” Was all i could hear from her. 
My dad came to my room and told me to go look for my dog. I didn’t think there was any point in looking for him. I mean, he’s ran away before and always came trotting back after five minutes; realizing that there would be no one to feed him.
My mother then begged me to go look for him; making me feel guilty. 
I grabbed Charlie’s leash and headed out the door.
“Jane!” My mother called for me.
“Mrs. Jenkins just called, she says she has Charlie.”

6:19       5 minutes

I nodded my head to my mother and was on my way. 
I noticed a parked red car that looked exactly like my uncle rick’s old mustang from the eighties. I remem
remember it because that was the car he would take me shopping. with. Suddenly, a figure came out of it. It was my uncle. He walked towards me and I was a little nervous considering he had become a strange man. That’s what he was to me now. A stranger. He looked the same as the last time I saw him, but I hardly knew him.
” My, look at how much you’ve grown.”
he said.
“Would you like to go shopping, Jane?”

“No, thank you, uncle Rick.” I said.
“Maybe some other time. Right now, my dad would like to see you.” I tried starting to walk backwards slowly.
“But i wanted to see you, not your dad, Jane.” He said taking another step closer.
“I have to get my dog, uncle Rick.” I responded. “Please go to my house, my mom will warm up some left overs for you and you and my dad can talk and have a drink, like old times.”

“That’s a nice gesture, sweetheart, but I wanted to spend some time with you a little more. After all, i’ve been locked up for seven years.”

A lump built up in my throat. I wasn’t
comfortable with what was going on.
“I told you I’d hang out with you some other time. I’m a little busy right now.” i started to walk off.
Out of nowhere, I was picked up and found myself kicking, but not screaming. there was a hand covering my mouth and I soon found myself in the back of a mustang. Sadly, no one had seen what he had just done. Most people were on spring vacation or not paying attention from their houses. Luckily for him, too, that we were at a dead end, next to the woods, where only one or two houses could see us. But their houses were on high ground and had evergreens directly in front of the house. He came in the back with me and taped my mouth shut, my hands together, and my feet together. The tape smelled of burned rubber and tasted like glue. i would know since my sister once nearly shoved a glue stick in my mouth while doing arts and crafts.He saw this was a bad idea to use tape after I was clearly able to rip of the tape from my mouth. I squirmed and I
screamed out for help but he put tape over my mouth again, tied my hands and feet together with jumper cables, and threw me in the trunk. I was so afraid. I thought of my family and what they would think. I wondered how I would die if he killed me. Would he leave me in here and abandon be in a forest or drive us into a lake? My worst fear I had was that he was going to rape and kill me. My stomach was in knots. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
He then drove away.
I’m really happy you guys like it! :)
people usually criticize my writing .
i didn’t think it was going to be that good! i liked the plot and everything but gah! im so happy! im only 12(shhhh) and i rlly love to write so thank you! but i want more comments plz! :)

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