Alcohol Abuse Advice

Getting High Without a Hangover

Getting High Without A Hangover

How do you get high, and have a fun, full, and free life, without the detrimental effects of a drug or a stimulant. I want to discuss this now and then, so I will say a few words about it now. Before my ex husband, whom I will call Dave, was known to have an addiction to alcohol- I would enjoy alcohol with him. As a teen, I enjoyed drugs as well. But there were unpleasant effects to both. Alcohol left me physically sick if I did too much. Cocaine, which I tried once or twice, left me exhausted for two days. Marijuana had me binge eating, paranoid, and wondering what stupid thing I had just said and to whom. In those days, I didn’t know about addiction. Clearly the worst side effect- addiction later had me living a life of daily misery for years on end. And that was someone else’s addiction, not even my own.

Then I began my own process of recovery. I began going to Alanon first, for families and friends of alcoholics. I began a process of speaking and interacting with other people- people with the same types of problems. For the first year, I could hardly share a word or two before I burst into tears. The second year, it took me a minute or more before I cried. By year three I very seldom cried. Lo and behold, the very act of being in communion with others- gentle loving, giving people, all- was beginning to change my ability to be happy! I could share easily now what was up with me, and sometimes I would even laugh. Laughter was a great medicine and when I could actually see my own insanity, my growth truly began.

I really began to elevate my happiness level when I went to retreats. By now I was in Overeater’s Anonymous for my own issues with food, as well as Alanon for friends and families of alcoholics. I would go to their weekend retreats a few times a year. Love and kindness abounded with these people, and there was a sense of joy. I remember particularly one retreat on Long Beach Island by the seaside. It was there I that met one of the several people I have called angels in my life .

As the story goes, I had carted along my portable keyboard to this retreat. Getting this keyboard had been a true story of overcoming codependency. Codependents tend to take what they get, and count themselves lucky. They seldom make a stand for themselves. But in this instance, I had really wanted a keyboard from my husband for my birthday. I told him point blank, this is what I want, this is all I want, and you don’t ever have to buy me anything else. He pooh, poohed the idea. “You’ll never learn it,” he said “it will sit idle. It’s a waste of money.” I stood firm. I wanted it.

He listened, and came home on my birthday with a piece of jewelry. To make matters worse, the jewelry cost more than the keyboard. Money was tight in those days, so in this instance, I made an atypical move. I returned the jewelry and got the keyboard. I did it as graciously as I could, trying carefully not to be judgmental or nasty. But I returned the jewelry, got the keyboard, and began to teach myself how to play it.

  

So now I sat at this retreat with my keyboard, and the few songs I had learned, and

they were having a talent show. What I really wanted was to sing. I wanted to play my tune and to sing. Singing for me was another ‘mountain to be climbed’ and another ‘hurdle to be jumped’ since I had been shut up from singing as a child more times than I could remember. I loved to sing, and could not keep music from emanating from my very pores- but I was incredibly self-conscious. Anytime I sang, I wondered how it was sounding. Was it bad? Was it good? Was it palatable? So I approached my turn at the talent show that night with a bit of trepidation and a trembling pit in my stomach.

The show ended and everyone clapped. It seemed they were enthusiastic. Did they like it? Perhaps they were just being polite. I smiled meekly as I exited. Soon it was the next morning. I was walking along the edge of the water on the bay side of the island. I could smell the salty air and there was a slight breeze as my feet hit the cool wood of the splintered dock. I was happy. Deliriously happy. I had gotten plenty of hugs this weekend. I’d met loving people. We’d shared and chatted, laughed, and sometimes cried. I had phone numbers of these, my new friends. Although I didn’t say it, I was clear this feeling far surpassed anything I’d ever gotten from a drug or alcohol. It was true. It was real. It was, I could feel, the kind of high feeling that the great design of life and physiology had in mind for us. And I truly did not want to leave this enchanted place, and these enchanted people.

As I stepped from the dock to leave, I heard a voice. “Excuse me. Excuse me.” I saw a woman, running “Hold on, hold on.” She was waving her arms and struggling to reach me. I smiled and started in her direction. Did I know her? There were so many people. Was she with our group? She finally reached me and leaned on the rail to catch her breath. “I’m so glad I caught you.” She said, panting a bit “I’ve been trying to find you since I heard you sing last night.” My heart jumped a beat. Was this good?

Was it bad?

“Listen.” she said “I have a piano. I have a piano and I want you to have it. You should have it so you can sing your songs. You should have it so you can sing your songs and play your music. Will you take it? I hope you will.” When I heard these words I stood speechless. I had no idea of how to respond. The tears filled my eyes, and for perhaps the first time in my life, I could not speak from the flood of emotion in my throat. A few seconds later, we were hugging. I still had not said one word, but me and this angel stranger were hugging and crying like old friends.

I took that piano. I found a way to get it to my house. And I’ve kept it ever since. It holds an honored spot, and wherever I move, it comes along with me.

And I remember this story, as it typifies the biggest and best high you can have…

the high you get from being loved, for no reason, by other human beings. These days it’s the high I want, and the biggest high I seek… that of being around loving, healthy, generous people, and sharing my life with them. And you don’t get that from drugs or alcohol.

http://secondhandaddiction.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-you-get-high-without-hangover.html