Q&A: Please Help. What Should I Do?
Question by Kathy: Please help. What should I do?
Please try to be empathetic with my problem and try to understand even if it is not easy to. This is my last resort, asking people on the internet.
I live in a small town where 98% of people my age (in their 20s) and younger (preteens, all throughout teens- that’s when it starts get drunk and high what seems like constantly. If you don’t believe me, then I envy your ignorance. I wish I could live where you do. I live in a town where people are drug and alcohol enthusiasts. For very personal reasons I can’t be around pot smoke.. I use to think that was my problem. If only I could be around it then I would get to hang out with people.
But lately I’ve realized something, even if I could… why would I want to hang out with a bunch of self-absorbed high people?
however.. out of loneliness I do.
I had to end my relationship two years ago with someone I met from the next town because of his dependency and obsession with getting high with his friends. As soon as I found out he had that in his life I was upset because I thought I had broken free and met someone who was all there. I decided I was overreacting and decided to try an make it work anyway. His friend treated me like crap and said I was “weird”. After a year I ended the relationship. After dealing with feeling like a secondary importance next to drugs and drinking for an entire year.
This January I started a relationship with someone in town. He lives down the street. The guy I met him through is a rip-roaring alcoholic. Anyways, his friends have more respect for me than my last boyfriends but that hasn’t made much of a difference. I feel alone whenever he is high or drunk and can’t bear to hear the monotony and ignorance of his friends conversations.
If you don’t know what it is like to be the only sober person in town this is what it is like:
Boyfriend : “I’m going for a bike ride with Ryan”
Me : “Oh, that’s nice. have fun!”
Three hours later:
Me: “How was the bike ride”
Boyfriend: “Slurring : We didn’t go for a bike ride!” (I drank six beers and got high instead.)
It’s like that, almost everyday.
I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this, he wont change. Nor should I expect him to..I knew he was this way. Everyone is.
My way out of town is I am moving across the country to Vancouver. I wanted to leave before summer started but could only rent in Sept. My parents saw the look of grief on my face when I found out I had to stay here this summer.
Lately I’ve been thinking, Is it ironic that I am moving to Vancouver? Will I meet anyone different?
Without that hope I feel like taking my life because I feel alone all the time.
I don’t want to spend the summer here. I should break up with my boyfriend because the relationship is unhealthy but then what will I do? Sit in my room all summer, while he gets to have company and not feel any pain? He gets to drink and get high after the break up and I have to sit and feel everything. What will I do for two months all alone.
I have three thousand dollars in the bank. I water plant in a nursery all morning and to keep my mind from going numb and fantasize about running away to exotic places.
What should I do?
p.s You have to keep in mind that I live in a town where even these peoples parents are drug and alcohol enthusiasts.. they did it when they were young, and think life is boring without it.
I can’t just join a club and meet new people. I live in a small town and know everyone. If this sounds unrealistic to you, then I will say it again,I envy you.
So what do you think? Will I meet someone who thinks life is fun and isn’t completely self-absorbed and jaded? Is this all there is?
Best answer:
What do you think? Answer below!