Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by iBelieve in TrueLove: Do nosy people compensate for something if they’re constantly in people’s business?
I always wondered why nosy people would go out of their way just to get information that doesn’t affect them. For a happy single girl (for the most part), I’ve been hounded too many times with “matchmaker type” people. There are some who genuinely care and some just keep going like the energizer bunny – that makes me think, they’re not genuine. ESPECIALLY when they just pick ANY guy who is “nice”. Usually when people set you up, the person they have in mind seems to be COMPATIBLE with you but nowadays it’s like, “oh you’re a nice guy at work who’s single. I know someone single – you guys will HIT IT OFF!” I really don’t understand this mentality.

I know married people want singles (they care about) to have that kind of love they have but again, there are some who just get a thrill with matchmaking. Not only that, but they want the STORIES behind it. Let’s say you do hit it off, the matchmaker’s job has ended but NO, it’s like they feel an obligation to your intimate moments and stories bc she set you up. This same “friend” (acquaintance now bc I put her in that category), even gave me a “how to get a good guy” book for Christmas. The content was high school material. Again, this was offensive. If someone isn’t broke, don’t fix it. If someone is single (especially by choice), that doesn’t mean you have to fix it, NOR should someone else try to. It’s like giving a recovering alcoholic a “self help” book, and you’re not their therapist. Anyhoo, I find this so rude and tacky. Completely classless or maybe I’m just too snobby haha I wonder what it is about nosy people (like her) that get a THRILL out of matching people up…
Maybe for Christmas, I can get her a book written by Patti Stanger (“Millionaire Matchmaker”) on how to be an official matchmaker ;) (that would be lowering my standards though, right?
@Andrewa – thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, your assumptions are wrong. In this scenario, I’m talking about someone else I know who loves playing “matchmaker”; not the colleague that you commented on yesterday. I also would like to disagree and say have you ever thought that maybe people are single because they’re NOT miserable on the inside? That maybe being single is the most natural thing in their life at the moment – their doesn’t need to be a reason but it just is the way it is, no negative feelings, no psychological reasoning, they just are.

Best answer:

Answer by Andrewa
Wow! And again your asking about this subject. Let me guess, this is still pertaining to your colleague that you work with who you don’t consider a friend. For someone you don’t consider a friend you sure do care an awful lot about her opinion and feelings. Did it ever occur to you that your single because you don’t let things go? I don’t understand why your allowing her to bother you. How hard is it to tell someone that you don’t want to date their friend and if she gets upset then that’s her problem not yours. As far as the book goes, accept it and either throw in in the trash or donate it to the library. As much she sounds like she loves to match make, you sound like you love to hold grudges.

As I said before…

Crap! If this woman is so hard up to get this guy a date, why isn’t she dating him? That would absolutely annoy me. Sorry you had to go through the ordeal. It sounds like you handled it well.

I know how you feel about getting a certain kind of guy. People think I’m picky but they don’t realize that is not the case. I’ve dated all types of guys for all types of reasons and I consider it a process of elimination. I see way to many people who just settle for someone because they either have a time limit on themselves for when the should be married, are afraid of being alone or feel they’re not meant to have their dream guy. I find this sad and don’t want to end up like any of these people I know, in a relationship that I’m not happy in or is abusive where I end up eventually getting a divorce.

Just realize that not everyone sees relationships the way you do. I wouldn’t doubt that this woman is in a relationship that she’s not happy with and feels the need to live vicariously through this guy by creating the perfect fairy tale match up.

Maybe your right, it might be a cultural thing but if someone doesn’t want others meddling in their personal lives people need to be respectful of other peoples business. She has to understand that not everyone is going to go through life like she does. I find it funny on her part that she feels the need to make you two a couple and won’t take “no” for an answer or easily gets offended because it’s not and instant match.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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