Alcohol Abuse Advice

Question by MamaTuna: Cant stand my BF’s little brother!!?
I cant stand my boyfriends full brother! he is selfish, disrespectful, conceited, uses people, in constant trouble with the law, thinks hes gods gift to women, a long term drug use history and expects everything handed to him. My boyfriend and his brother have a horrible childhood in my eyes. parents were not the nurturing type. their mother was an alcoholic as well as a drug user with the boys stepfather. My boyfriend even brought one of his mothers blunts to school at the age of 7 and got in trouble with it. Since both boys are over the age of 18 now, they hardly ever talk to their mom. they call but she doesnt answer (so the lack of a relationship is on her part.

My bf is a 7 year army vet. E5 Sargent. no criminal history, great work ethic… a very up standing guy all around. His bother, on the other hand is the exact opposite, as i described before. He will move to his fathers in the winter and expect help there, and come around here in the summer and expect his brother to help him. (his father and us live 2000 miles away) since his brother has been back, my BF has gotten him a job at his place of employment, has set him up with an apartment which is owned by a friend/ex boss of my BF. If his brother messes anything up whether its with work or his apartment, it will make my BF look bad which is a big fear of mine. My bf has worked so hard to become the guy he is today. has worked for everything he has.. and has left the dysfunction to the rest of his family.

his brother has only been back a week and has been asking his brother for constant rides. asking for food. asking for cigs… all in which he cant buy because he came back here with no money and hasent gotten paid yet. his brother still owes us 150$ from last year before he left.

im a firm believer in family helping family. but how much is too much? its not my bf’s job to “parent” his brother now. his brother had every opportunity as my bf. he chooses not to take it. shows no “‘self help’. this is causing a lot of fights between my bf and i. he says that his brother has no one else and that he feels responsible for him. i understand that he wants to help, but because of his brother, we are loosing money that we work hard for. my bfs name is on the line as i also stated… which in the future will hopefully be my name too.

how do i make him understand that its not our responsibility to take care of his brother? at the age of almost 26, his brother should be stable like the rest of us. this really isnt something i want to deal with for the rest of my life. his brother is becoming a huge issue in our relationship.

I have 2 kids that my BF has taken on the father role for. his helping his brother and trying to ‘parent’ him, is taking away from my 2 boys. not only things that they need of a monetary value, but his time as well. hes into the tough love with the kids. ‘help me help you.’ pick up your toys and u will get a surprise. take a good nap and we will go boating. he lets his brother get away with more than he would our 2 little boys. he actually has expectations for the kids (one of which is VERY special needs).. but none for his grown brother. just give and give and give.

im at a loss as to what to do. do i just let him enable him as i feel hes doing now? the way i see it, his brother has chosen his lifestyle. constantly moving. in and out of work. not having money. why is it my bf feels he need to pick up the slack from his brother to make his life easier when any ‘normal’ life is hard enough without having to carry someone through it?

Best answer:

Answer by Madeline
WOAHH ! you wrote so much ! lol no ones going to read that !

Give your answer to this question below!

Teen prescription drug abuse: 8 tips for parents
Filed under: dealing with an alcoholic parent

What parents say and do does matter. In one study, by Brigham Young University, 4,200 teens were asked to rate their parents' level of monitoring and tolerance of drug and alcohol use. Researchers found that for every 1-point increase in parent …
Source

 

Find More Dealing With An Alcoholic Parent Information…