So.. My Dad Is a Drunk… What Do I Do?
Question by CentralSet: So.. My dad is a drunk… What do I do?
A little background.
My dad was an alcoholic around the time I was born. My mother had to leave him, he was thrown in jail and separated from us. He get into AA and became sober for a long time. He then built up a business which ~ 4 years ago was really successful.
My dad was sober for >15 years.
I have been in college for the last 5 years straight. At some point, while I was there, he started drinking again. He also started doing drugs (I think just smoking pot).
I noticed he started drinking again over the very short periods of time I came to visit, but quite frankly i didn’t care.
I am 23 years old now. I graduated from college in May, and I start graduate school in August. So I am staying with my father for ~ 3 months (2 more to go)…
He, now, has become a terrible person. He constantly goes out drinking, till literally 5-6 in the morning. He comes home so drunk he is puking every other (or so) days. He drinks so much, I don’t think he can get to the point where he is an angry drunk.
His business is failing. Those days he comes home early in the morning drunk… he will sleep for >24 hours. Literally, going to bed at ~ 6am then waking up at 7-8am the next day.
He has also become like a childish drunk. He will come home and start crying for me to do things for him, like “get me a glass of milk”.
Clearly he is messed up, but quite frankly I don’t care. My brother has lost all respect for him, and has essentially cut him out of his life because of this. I have lost all respect for him too.
He started off acting like he was really messed up and really needed help, so I tried to help him. Sadly, he was just crying “i need help” to just take advantage of my good nature. He would try and act like it was something out of his control. I now (after being back here for ~ 4 weeks) know he is just being weak.
For one, I am afraid. He might come home “angry drunk” one day while I am asleep…. I can deal with that. On the other hand (as I have said), I have lost all respect for him, and if this crap continues for the next 2 months that I am here, I will not talk to this man again.
Any advice? I have tried to get him to not go to the bars at night. It doesn’t work, he doesn’t care. I am done catering to his pathetic ass (even if he starts to throw a drunk fit because I won’t help him). Also before I realized he was doing this, I was planing on loaning him ~ 20,000$ . I figured out pretty quickly, I wouldn’t be a loan, it would be a, save my fathers business and house check, but I am about to pull that from him too. Chances are, he is going to lose his house and business. He has no retirement, but I am not going to put up with this. I have tried to help him, and have ran out of ideas short of telling him he is a pathetic loser.
He keeps saying (in the day time HA) that he doesn’t want to drink like that. Later that night “i am going for a drive”, a couple hours later “i am at the bar talking to a friend and will be leaving in about 30 minutes”, then he comes home sick drunk >6 hours later.
Like I said, I am 23 years old, and if I wasn’t actually living here, I wouldn’t care.
BTW, he is also driving around town very drunk. Literally pulling into the driveway, stepping out of his car, falling over and puking, walking inside and passing out on the floor. He then wakes up >24 hours later, realizing he didn’t open his business, and he has to pay his employees for a full day, that none of them worked, because they couldn’t get in.
I know where he is going to drink. Should I just call the cops when he leaves and let them catch him with a DWI?
Best answer:
Answer by spencer
dont kick him to the curb just because times are rough. he raised you after all, and i would imagine helped fund alot of your college education. plus grad school? come on. and even if he didnt, he overcame alcoholism before and could possibly do it again. but even if he doesnt, don’t burn down the bridge by doing something like calling the police on him
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