Q&A: How to Deal With Being Labeled With a Personality Disorder Because Bipolar Meds Don’t Work for Me?
Question by gardensallday: how to deal with being labeled with a personality disorder because bipolar meds don’t work for me?
I posted about the same question before, but need more help. Sorry so long, but some answers got off the subject because of a lack of details.
I have been labeled borderline, or occasionally histrionic, when I go inpatient, about once a year. My therapist and social worker are sure I don’t have a personality disorder, and I don’t meet the criteria, but still, the labeling persists, even though I have a great marriage for 8 years and good relationships with all my regular mental health workers, most of my family, and my husband’s large family. I think the doctors are frustrated that meds don’t work for my bipolar disorder, and are “blaming the patient.” If I know they are writing down borderline, and ask WHICH criteria I meet, the docs fumble around and can only list at most 3 things, which are all turn out to be bipolar traits (there are overlapping symptoms) and there have to be at least 5. Then they look shamefaced and write in the chart that they ruled out borderline. But I don’t always know what they put in my chart. I think it’s a knee jerk thing – she has bipolar, she was sexually abused, the meds aren’t helping. . .must be borderline . . . Borderline is an awful label to have, and calling me histrionic when my mental health workers cannot tell how depressed I am 99% of the time because I hold it in, is unfair. When I go to the hospital, it’s because I’m in a crisis, so OF COURSE I am behave emotionally then!
No question about the borderline – no problems with abandonment, no feelings of emptiness, I have a strong self identity, good relationships with most people, most mood changes are cyclical, according to time of day and time of year and if I have PMS, all past suicide attempts were many years ago, and that stopped when my husband (boyfriend then) figured out the ativan was making me worse, I am getting worse as I age, which is a bipolar pattern, not a personality disorder pattern, The MMPI clearly rules out borderline etc. etc.
how do I deal with this? If I try to tell docs up front, “hey doc, don’t label me with a personality disorder, I don’t meet the diagnosis,” it may just be taken as denial. I can’t blow off this problem, because my disability insurance company kicked me off disability a few months ago, and tried to pin my problems all on borderline, a non-covered illness, whereas bipolar is covered. My regular psychiatrist denied that, and I won my appeal, but I don’t want to give them ammunition in the future (they were really bad faith – I won’t go into details). I reviewed all my medical records for the appeal, and that’s how I discovered this problem I’m in the hospital a lot, but I have severe untreated bipolar – the meds don’t work. The meds don’t work for my brother, either. . . is he borderline too? (no!).
How do I address this problem with psychiatrists who don’t know me, when I have to go inpatient, or need to switch docs for some reason?
As I already stated, the reason this is an issue is for disability purposes. Also, I only recently discovered this was a problem. And only docs who see me in crisis think I have a personality disorder, not psychiatrists or therapists who see me long term. I’ve never gone off on a doc or therapist. I’ve never had a doc or therapist “fire” me, either.
I guess I am not clear in my question – not ALL doctors in the hospital label me with borderline, only SOME but it has happened several times. Many do not do this. At top notch hospitals, it never happens, only at my rinky dink community hospitals. But the best hospitals are too far away for me to get to in a crisis.
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