Different Thinking: Where Is the Problem Here? Is Leaving My Marriage the Best Option,?

Question by Madingo: Different thinking: Where is the problem here? Is leaving my marriage the best option,?
We have been married for close to 2 years. We have a 15 months old daughter who is my lovely cutie. Combined annual income: $ 70,000. Before marriage, I had dated 3 women and her 11 men. We are from different cultures: I am African and she’s American. I grew up in a stable christian home; She grew up in a dysfunctional family (dad had 2 extramarital affairs and has kids from them and mum too). My flaws; shower once every 2 days, kinda of messy but I clean up after myself, easily irritated but I have never physically or emotionally abused her, I have a high sex drive
My thinking: Marriage business is between hubby and wife (I keep family out; I rarely call my family but we love each other dearly). 2. Her mum is always in our business. When we have arguments, she vowed to always to stand by her kids. (Eldest son: Alcoholic, keeps moving in and out of house, wife “beater”, all the money he makes he sends it to her “fiancee”; )
Her thinking: If we have arguments she can tell her mom about them. 2. She pays $ 650/month (due to messed up credit) for her car note. (Camry 2007). I drive a 1999 Malibu which we got at $ 1000. 3. She wants to pay off $ 300 every week to a baby sitter yet her aunt charges 100/week (they don’t get along): My mother was willing to baby sit again for free (she baby sat her when she was 2 months until she left when she was 8 months) my mum is a retired professional pediatric nurse. 4. She needs to have a treat every week at a restaurant and have a tour to her hairdresser; $ 120/week 5. Before marriage she had debts totaling to about $ 25,000 (which I was willing to help take care of when we get financially stable. 6. She believes that her dad is a “devil’ since he doesn’t agree with her way of thinking. (I get along with my dad in-law; he minds his own business unless you seek for advice from him. he admits that he screwed up with the extramarital affairs but he can never change what happened. He has always asked me not to ever put our daughter thru. that; having another woman in my life)

When we I don’t agree with her she says I am mean minded and sometimes when I lose it, she calls ex-bf (who had proposed to her and later changed his mind) for “advice”. Ex-bf always put pressure on her to look nice and he contributed to her big debt.

P.S: Recently we separated and I was wondering whether divorce is an option (Kinda of not what my family virtues are)

Best answer:

Answer by Racer
If you still love her, why don’t you try marriage and financial counseling first? If that’s not an option for you, or you don’t want to, then I’d say your mind is pretty much made up to leave this marriage. Your wife has a lot of outside influences.. that don’t appear to be healthy… like, talking to an ex b/f when you and her have marriage problems?? I would not be tolerating that……..

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